Our Boy and His Cricket

 Since I was the driver and main chaser of the little cricket, I didn't take the camera out as much as I had planned so Big J was in charge of capturing life with his new camera and I'm loving his pictures so much!  Here are just a few of my favorites to share for Black and White Wednesday!

 And now our holiday break is over and this picture below pretty much sums it all up!  We're TIRED!  I hope to be back around in blogger land again soon...I haven't been around much.  The year has started off with a bang and it seems it's going to be a full one for me.  I'm hoping not to become a once a week poster but right now there's a lot going on and that might be my MO for a while.  Maybe now that school is in again, I actually might have a few minutes of me time again!  LOL!!!  For now I'm off to enjoy what life has to hand me.  Happy Wednesday!

 (photo by Kayce)

Fitting in comes with a huge price tag and can cause teens to travel a path they may not want to walk down or are ready to experience.  I began to see this power struggle with Big J and immediately started talking.  A lot.  And a lot more.  I haven't stopped talking.  Sometimes I know he's not listening to me but I still don't shut up.   On the flip side I listen.  I listen to everything.  I'm like a little fly on the wall with big ears.  I check out everything and ask for names and details.  He may not like it.  In fact there are times when he calls me the meanest mom in the world but I'm not, I'm just not going to let you go to spend the night at a strangers house, sorry!  Yup, I'm one of those moms.  And you know what I don't care what people think.  I'm not that dumb to know that yes maybe I am blind to some things but most things I see.  I don't have a problem being my child's advocate.  He wants to be a productive part of society!  He wants to be a change in the world.  He wants to stay clean and sober through his adolescence and beyond.  He wants to live a healthy life with God as his focus.  I WANT to help him attain those goals.   I want to watch him succeed.  I want to watch every moment!

But.  Yes there is a but.  It's hard.  It's SO hard to be the mom I want to be.  Harder than I ever could have imagined and yes there are days I just want to ignore it all.  I struggle with it daily.  I wake up somedays dreading the things I have to say or do.  I do it, but it's difficult sometimes.   I do not regret any of the choices I've made in my parenting, I only regret that I didn't get started earlier.  But remember I used to want to be the cool mom.  Now I just want to hear my son call me mom today, tomorrow and forever.  This story is far from over.  It's only just begun.   This last year in our lives hasn't just been filled with rainbows and sunshine, it's also been filled with major struggles and hard parenting moments.  My blood is forever filled with glitter and I'm always over the top happy but as I said in the beginning of this post, this year I want to write more about the other part of my life...the teen parts....the tough parts...and the best parts too.  

There are not enough words to fill the page to say what this man means to me and to the children in his life.

He is our guide through tough times and our cheering crowd in moments of triumph!   

He gives more than sometimes he has to give.

He can fill a room with laughter and warmth.

He protects and provides for us in so many ways.    

He deals with a side of me that most people shy from.

He offers his children all that he has in his heart and mind.  

He is not only the man of my dreams but the father a child could never disappoint.

He is our rock and our comforting blanket all at once.

He is the love of my life.

He is the treasure in our children's world.

As our car sped along the open road with the beautiful Pacific Ocean on our left and the sun on our faces, a conversation was taking place in the car.  Voices full of ideas.  Tones filled with wonderment.  A long forgotten tune playing in the background.  Sparks of excitement exploding all over.  The day was July 25, 2005.  I can almost remember each moment of that six hour drive home from Southern California up highway 101.

Today my sweet girl you are nineteen months old.  Time is moving rapidly forward and I treasure each and every minute I have to watch you grow and explore in your world.  I find it amazing that nine months has passed since I first held you in my arms and you've gone from a tiny eleven pound bundle to a beautiful 22.2 pound and 31 inch long toddler!  On this black and white Wednesday I give you nineteen things I love about you today!

~ My love overflows for you when you come up to me and give my leg a hug and say mama.  Melt!

~ I love the way you wake in the morning...you stretch and make little noises before you gather your books and babies and quietly read to them before you call for mommy or daddy to come get you.  I always sit and listen to you on the monitor and just smile and thank God for another beautiful day.

~ I love how you pretend to be a puppy!  You crawl around and roll on your back just like Ella then you run over to the dog pillows and try to snuggle up with your Summit or Ella.  

~ I love the way you grab any kind of bag with handles and make it your purse for the hour.

~ The way you enjoy your morning cartoon which is Little Einstein's, just makes me laugh with love!  You follow along so well with your clapping and lifting your arms and your curtain call is the best!

~ I love how you always strap yourself to me like a baby monkey when a stranger talks to us and you burry your head in my arms after you give your little unsure glare.  

~ I love how you have bonded with the special people in your life like your 

grandparents, aunts, uncles and your great grandma.

~ The way your entire face lights up when you laugh is pure love and joy to me!

~ I love your sing song voice and all of the words that come singing out of your mouth.  Right now your most favorite is "no" and you say it at least 100 times a day as well as your new word "okie dokie".  

I could listen to you chatter all day long. 

~ I absolutely LOVE how you try to do everything I do from cooking dinner, brushing your hair or snapping pictures.  

You are most definitely my mini me!

~ I love that I get to be your mommy through adoption and that we get to share that with those who ask.

~ I love your adventuresome spirit!  

You are willing to give just about anything a try as long as mommy, daddy or big brother is near by.

When asked why we wanted to adopt my answer is always the same..."because we wanted to add more to our family and this is the way we want to grow."  There is nothing more in life that makes me happier than to be surrounded by family and to give that to a child is priceless.  

Biological, step, adopted or whatever...family is everything in life.  

This picture is a moment that was captured where we were all just staring at this new joy in home, in fact this picture is pretty much what life is like around here...we just sit and stare with huge smiles on our faces at our daughter, our sister, our grand daughter, our cousin.  The adoption of our little cricket has changed every person in each our families in ways none of us knew could happen.  Life has taken on a new hue you could say and yes it can happen when a biological child is brought into a family, but a child brought into a family through adoption is life changing in a very positive way.  At least for our family.  

Many have asked us since our family has grown if we will do it again...of course it's asked with slight hesitation because all know of our trails and tribulations of the wait.  The answer, is a resounding yes.  Tomorrow, yesterday, next week, next month, last month...yes, yes, yes.  And the reaction is always the same..."you'd go through that wait again!!??  Are you nuts!"  For our cricket, yes in a heartbeat! but for our next family member God has different plans for us and we will wait for His timing to bring us together.   Whether our next wait is months or years, we know there is a very special child who longs for a family just as much as our family longs to bring him or her home.  I look forward to the day!

For more information on adoption you can check out the following links:

 We gathered our pumpkin bootie and got all ready to carve even though one of us 

wasn't quite sure what we were doing with the big orange balls....

 ....then the smiles and laughter began!  Hellllllloooooo who's in there??????

 OOOOOO....was the word of the night!  

 With smiles and scowls carved we lit our pumpkins and placed them in their respective spots...

The crickets at her house and our jack-o-lantern at our doorstep....

Happy, happy Wednesday!!  Have you been over to Lisa's lately to see the amazing adventure she's been on in China??  Her journey is almost complete and seeing her girl in her arms is such an incredible sight to see!  

Lately I have become completely obsessed with riding bikes.  It's all I want to do!  I think of long paths winding along the coast all week long, in anticipation of our next family ride during the weekend ahead.  I find myself wondering if I could ride around town all the time and get rid of my car (even though I'm deeply scared of riding on streets with lots of cars)!  

Now that's a bit crazy for me but it's true!