16 September 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011 - 8 comments

Hit a rough spot but found the light

It seems I've hit that spot in this 30 Days of Nothing Challenge where I am angry for putting us through this challenge.  There I said it.  Christie said this would happen but I was too arrogant to think it would happen to me.  I was so confidant in myself that I could do this...easy peasy!  Not so much.  There are things coming at me in all directions to spend, spend, spend.  I am pressured by my children.  I am pressured by my husband.  I am pressured by my own self.  I am pressured by mailers that come to me in the mailbox or through email.  I want someone else to make dinner for me and serve it to me because I want a break from cooking.  And to be honest I don't know if I would spend a dime on some of the things that are tempting me right now if I wasn't in the middle of this challenge.  Is it that I want to  because I just can't spend and yet I see money sitting there that I can spend?  Ugg.

Through my bout of anger these last few days I realized that maybe my anger stems from the fact that all this money we're setting aside this month is just going back into material things that may or may not mean much to our kids after they rip open the wrapping on Christmas morning.  Then I started thinking that maybe, just maybe this money shouldn't be ours.  Maybe, just maybe this should be given away to someone who can't even save a penny because there is none after the bills are paid, there's only a hole that hasn't been filled in their belly.

On Sunday we were challenged at church to save $1.25 a day per person in our home for the next ten weeks.  The challenge is to raise enough money to equal 1,000,000 pounds of food for our local Second Harvest Food Bank.  Yea that's right...one million pounds of food in the form of cash donations, plus food that is donated in the food bins!  But then the challenge got bigger.  Our pastor said he wanted to see if we could add $.25 to that daily savings to make it a $1.50 total....okay why?  Well that mere quarter a day per family member saved for 10 weeks....are you ready?

Will help to feed an entire village on the Somalian boarder....

...for a year.

Humble pause.

A year.

My anger over the week slowly becomes obsolete as I process the message and turns towards my own selfish desires and I realize just how blessed I am.  I am blessed to not only be able to eat three complete meals a day with my family but I'm able to actually put away money for 30 days to save for "something".  My "something" was for yet another overwhelming Christmas morning filled with over abundance.  But could this 30 Days of Nothing challenge me beyond October 1st to change my selfish ways?  I think so.  Because what I ALREADY have satisfies me.   My children have everything already.   How in the world can I be angry for this challenge?  How can I be so selfish to hide my eyes to the obvious that was slapped in my face on Sunday?

A home.
A warm meal.
Abundant love.
Good health.

This money we are saving can buy all of these things for SOMEONE else!  Someone who has in some cases none of these things or maybe just a home but no food or much love but is sick or has a few pennies a day for food but is in a shelter.   This money can put food in the belly of a child who has nothing.

My anger has turned to compassion this week.  I have gone from "absolutely NEEDING" that cute outfit or yet another hair bow for my daughter...just because I can.  To ABSOLUTELY NEEDING to save for something else.  SOMEONE else.  My focus has changed dramatically.  My mind is racing to figure out things that have been on my heart for sometime.   I have become consumed with BOLD ACTS OF COMPASSION.

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood.  Isaiah 58:6-7

Because I can.

"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry, the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday."  Isaiah 58:10


There is profound change happening in our house because of THIS CHALLENGE.  30 Days of Nothing has changed us to not needing more material things in our lives but to NEEDING to find away to bring our love to others.   To open our home to more of God's love.  More of His children.  More of His work.

8 comments:

Speechless...you put it so beautifully that I can't add a morsel.

But I will be linking to highlight it - that's for darn sure...

xo

Beautifully written Kayce. Every word is so powerful. Thank you for sharing.

BTW...I see a red thread buried in the bowl of coins. Is this a sign? :-)

I love how God has used Christie to change our hearts. This challenge has also made us slow down....I have been angry at times that certain sales go on during this challenge. SERIOUSLY!!?? Like you said, people trying to put food on the table or school supplies in their backpacks and I am angry because I can't buy another outfit that my daughter will outgrow in 6 months!! Wow, so wonderful to see your already precious heart change even more!

Is that a red thread winding its way through your change?????

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....xoxoxo,me

Thank you for this post. This was beautiful. I love that you wrote it and I love that you are making a big difference. You have made me think about ways we can give. Thank you.

Love this post! Thanks for sharing the struggles and the revelations!

I love your attitude and your heart for others, Kayce. I hope many are inspired by your post to do something different, if only for a while, in order to bless someone else.

:)

you are a gifted woman. With words, with love, with compassion. Thank you for sharing. it reminds me of what we are here to do. I appreciate your honesty, your kindness, your empathy. I pray your journey will continue to touch lives as it has most definitely touched mine.