19 November 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009 - 27 comments

I have no words just hurt

I've been trying to find something to write but all that comes is pain. So until I can find the right words or until the pain stops I'll be gone for a bit to focus on the things in front of me today.

Bad Rumor
A European agency has announced (publicly) that “due to changes in the management team of the Center for Chinese adoptions”, referrals are not likely to arrive in November.

Rumors and speculation are rampant. No one seems to believe that the new director can’t sign referrals until he gets situated. I think the two main theories are 1) The CCAA’s fiscal year ends at the end of November and they’ve used up their yearly quota so they must wait until December to send them and 2) the CCAA is trying to stretch referrals out as much as possible due to H1N1.

Maybe it’s one of those things. Maybe it’s something else. Maybe it’s a bogus rumor. I’m not holding my breath on that last one. I’m only giving this rumor (that they aren’t coming in November) an R2 until we hear confirmation from another agency, but I’m not discounting it.

If we get some confirmation of this from other agencies then I’ll go ahead and close the poll and we’ll look at those numbers. If you are still in the NSN line and you are not expedited, and you haven’t “voted” your LID in the poll, then please do. This poll has been up since the arrival of the most recent referrals. Please don’t vote from home and then from work, and please talk to your spouse so only one of you records your LID.

Today's post from the Rumor Queen.


I know. There are no words.... it's just painful and stinkin' hard. Hang in there.... I know this won't really help, but you are at the end of the road and you ARE NEXT. No matter what. Your personal torture is not quite over with, but the relief you will feel shortly is going to be so great. Focusing on the things in front of you is good.... keep going and before you know it YOUR DAY WILL BE HERE. It really really will be.

I wish I had some magic words to stop it hurting. All I can say is I am praying that you see your daughter's face soon.

Having been there, nothing I can say can really ease the pain and hurt and disappointment. It is sucky and stupid and ya wanna scream and throw a tantrum. Do it. Do it all. Let it out.

It will heal and you will move forward.

My heart dropped and my thoughts went to you when I read that.

Just hugs and words from someone who is eating her words, it does get better. From ugly hurt, beautiful happiness WILL emerge.

Keep smilin!

So sorry I really hope the rumors are better soon and all the hurt melts away.
Just when we think we know what to expect it changes, I know how hard it is to keep going like that. Hang in there, big hugs

Hang in there- I know it has to be very hard! Hugs

I read that this morning and immediately thought of you. I can't imagine how hurtful and frustrating this must be. It makes me so angry that ccaa does't just tell the agencies what is going on. It's cruel to leave people hanging by the thinnest of emotional threads.

I only read RQ because I want to know what's going on so I can cheer on my friends. My heart aches for you.

Our Blog: Double Happiness!

My heart just dropped reading that.
So sorry :-(


Hugs, you. xo

No words... just hugs.

All I can say is that "I LOVE YOU".. and BIG HUGS.. you are next girly..

I started by typing every bad word I know... and I know a lot of them!! But instead, I will just say... sorry, so sorry... (but I'm thinking all the bad words for you!)


A million hugs to you.... what more can I say...

I know there is nothing any of us can write to make it feel better. Having been there, there are no words for the pain in your heart when 'your' month comes and goes. Hang in there my friend, you are next. Hugs and more hugs!!!!!

Oh no! This bites!

I have no words of comfort because I don't think there's anything anyone can say. I am hoping referrals come out this month but based on the rumors, I'm not holding my breath.

That being said, I am sending lots and lots of prayers that you get a great Christmas present from the CCAA.

I am speechless... my heart hurts for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.


I am so sorry Kaycee.... I wish I could take away your hurt and pain.

Sending you big hugs, prayers and peace!

Luv you,

oh my goodness, Kayce. My heart bleeds for you. U R so close, NEXT.


You were the first person I thought of when I heard this horrible rumor.

Thinking of you. Hugs!!

I am just so, so sorry. I read that rumor and my heart dropped. Sending you a million hugs.

This is so unfair. I's like they have so many children hostege. It is not right that they won't say why. Just tell us why they are holding things up. You have run such a good race and you are at the finish line. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

It is so hard. I have been there. I know that nothing will make you feel better truly. I will tell you that you may do better emotionally if you can detach from the RQ. Her site is a roller coaster for people in your shoes.

Oh, Kayce! This is tortuous!!! I feel your pain (and my own anger) at what this process has become. It's outrageous. Really.

Nevertheless, I do believe you are very shortly going to see your dear daughter's face and begin making travel arrangements. You will be up to your eyebrows in cute little girl things before much longer.

Stay strong.

As many have said already...there aren't words to take away or even ease the pain of waiting so long, getting to the "next" position...and then....nothing. silence.

I'm praying your silence breaks soon. Please know we're pulling for you and love you!!

That must be heart wrenching. I'm so sorry. My thoughts are definitely with you.

I swear I think this program is desinged to test us to our limit, and...when we get there...test us some more. Kailahni's adoption is by far the biggest test of character, strength, endurance, and perseverence I have ever been through. The reward is worth is, but the road hard.

You and your family are in our thoughts! We are hanging in there with you and look forward to celebrating with you soon..very soon.

Can I just say that even after 18 years trying to create a family the last month of the last adoption was the hardest. Only because we knew when it was coming whereas the other two were bolts out of the blue!
Waiting was the hardest both times! Then once you have the child in your arms the waiting does seem like a dream and you wonder why time flies faster than ever before!
Hang in there and know we are all waiting with you!
Hugs Ruth in NZ