05 October 2009

Monday, October 05, 2009 - 10 comments


As parents we tend to want our children to do more and experience more than we may have at that age. While we try not to relive our childhoods through them, we do push our kids to do the things we may not have done or vice versa; not do the things we did. We were once their age and we "know" exactly what life is like and now we know ways to make these times "easier" or more "manageable", but the key is to pass this knowledge off to our children without appearing to push. This rings very true in our household.

For me life in high school was not really the ideal high school experience, now what the ideal is is determined by the person I know, but in my adult life I see high school as something I missed. I wasn't involved in anything within high school, no sports, no clubs, nothing. The only thing I remember as being part of something was the peer counseling group for one year but it was only a class and not a club but other than that, nada. I was not part of any said organized group or extra curricular activity to keep me focused and in a positive place. And of course we know what can happen when kids don't have a positive social setting to be involved with. This is not something I am willing to pass on to my children.

So as a parent I choose to want to give my experience or lack there of to my children and make them understand the importance of getting involved. It helps. It gives you a sense of community. It's a job. It teaches commitment. You develop friendships that turn into lifelong connections. You get brothers and sisters when you may have had none before. These are things that help to make the high school experience a positive experience as a whole and I don't want my children to be my age and say, "man I really wish I had of joined this club or tried out for that sport or got involved in theater or band" because we all know....you can't go back.

With Holly it has been a little more difficult to instill these thoughts due to the fact that she lives with her mom and has mostly been home schooled but we do suggest that she look into her community for opportunities to better her desire to become a police officer. She will be graduating soon and it seems as though our limited voice has taken hold, she is looking into becoming a junior explorer (a kids group within law enforcement) and she will also be taking R.O.P. classes to help with her dream. I think we've done a good job here. :)

With Big J we have always pushed that he look beyond the box and while it does work in some instances, it doesn't in all. He's a very compassionate child, one who sees others tragedies and wants to help make them better but he's not a child who is all about sports, which I think is a fault of my own...I didn't push hard enough there or I felt the need to protect him from getting hurt and so I didn't pursue extra curricular sports for him as a youngster. As for clubs, well we did do Cub Scouts and were pretty involved with that for several years, but again as a parent I failed on insisting it go further and he ended up quitting instead of going on to become a Boy Scout. Other than that he's done some sports but nothing more. An again, I take the blame for not pushing harder.

When high school began we said, "you have to become involved with something, anything. " Well it's been a struggle, let me tell you! He doesn't want to join this club or that club because, "it's not cool" and sports like I said before, have not been a focus in our lives in the past, but now we are pushing and pushing hard. Now that we are almost at the end of the first semester Big J has yet to join any organized group. He says he doesn't understand "why he just can't go to school" and leave it at that. Well we say, "that's not the best way to enjoy the whole experience of high school and this is not a choice for you and you will understand this thinking later in life." Huff and puff. Huff and puff.

Last Monday he came home after school and when we was asked if the club meeting was good for a group he thought he "might" like to look into, he said he forgot to go. Opps, not the right response buddy. At dinner that night the axe dropped and a new technique was used.....in not so many words it came down to join or try out for something or the stuff that needs to get done around our house and your dads house will be your new extra curricular activity. Get it! Got it?? Good! You could see the thought process going on....lots of weeding, piles of construction debris to load up to take to the dump, a garage to clean out...yes people child labor!

Two days later he came home and said, "Mom, I joined the football team today."

I just about had a major cardio infraction right there.

I wanted so badly to add a picture to this post with him in his full uniform, but I'm not allowed to take pictures of him at practice or until he comes home on Friday with his gear, but of course this Friday he'll be at his dads. I will though be taking pictures at the game on Thursday!


I was involved in school and I have tried to get the kids involved.. but it is funny because they are all 3 different..
Nick was in football,wrestling and track and he was in the key club and then joined the EVIT program that got him to where he is now...Colton played some football but it was not his thing.. he has not got into any clubs cause he just doesn't like those things... but he is in automotive in 3 classes.. and he loves it..
KyLee on the other hand did dancing then she didn't do it this year.. and we have tried gymnastics and then she is not in anything but LOVES to be in clubs..
I think J will find the right thing for him..Sounds like he is starting too..
have a great week..
hope it goes fast..
love ya..

I'm so with you on having kids get involved within their school community, not matter in what capacity. It definitely helps them mature and develop and - as our uni admissions adviser - I can say it most definitely helps support their uni and college applications.

Hope Big J enjoys his football experience :)

You're such a good Mom Kayce. I am learning a lot from you about parenting a teenager that I will need later!

Wonderful advice! G is already involved in soft ball league.

I went to a private HS and we did not have alot of team sports that competed against other schools. I was on a swim team though with a private club and tennis team. I was also involved in my community with National Charity League Ticktockers. I really enjoyed it. We did alot of community service projects.

G. teacher this year is going to have them involved in community service. Usually they are the ones getting the help so it is good for them to give back!


Kayce one thing I have learned from my kids...they are not ME! I had to learn that. I had to learn to let them be them. But trust me it's not easy. He will find his "thing".

Love, Kristy

Yes get involed- I agree!

I am laughing so hard. How fun is that?!? I love high school football!

I am so glad that he took the plunge and went out for the team....that is awesome!! Can't wait to see him in full gear:)

Nick sounds very much like J....we have had to push him as well. In fact, my post tomorrow morning is about him and his love of soccer. He did not want to play in the beginning either.


Sometimes pushy mom is the best mom. Push and push hard. I'm right there with you. And football is awesome. HS football is fun and you will be so proud of him. It has been a real character builder for Gregory. My follower is becoming a leader and his shyness is starting to dwindle. From one pushy mom to another - welcome to the club! Love Allison

Umm... not the "club" you were hoping for, huh? I don't blame you - football can be scary, but it also teaches teamwork, commitment, tons of stuff.

(And I'm totally taking notes. I love the idea of child labor versus get involved in something YOU want. It's a twist on the whole "you're bored? Okay, well, let me find you something to do." I love it!)