03 December 2008

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 - 6 comments

Bah Humbug

So not feeling it this year! I hate to even write this down because it's feeling like it's gonna be a venting post and I'm sure there are a few of you out there that may wonder why I even am, but hey it's my blog, and it's my emotions. Anyway, if you want to, read on, if not well....whatever.

As I've talked about before, we being a split family have to split the holidays too. It is emotionally trying to say the least. This Thanksgiving was to be ours, but the grandparents on the other side wanted to have all their grandchildren on the same holiday schedule and so I nicely said okay to switching our years. This was a good and a bad move on my part. Bad because it was a childless T-day again and good because if our referral comes before the Thanksgiving next year, it will be a day to savor with all our children there and Jenny will have her big brother and sister there for her first day of thanks. :)

So now that I've made it through Thanksgiving, the next holiday looms. And it is not our year for Christmas eve or Christmas morn. Jacob will come home to our house at noon on Christmas day, which I literally start counting the seconds to at least a week before. Again this means that next year, which may be Jenny's first Christmas, Jacob and Holly (we hope) will be here. So this year, like Thanksgiving, will be quite. Mike and I are planning on going out for dinner on Christmas eve and then go see a funny movie. Something mindless and will put our minds elsewhere.

This holiday season also marks the first time that our sweet Holly wont be coming down at all. We have been anticipating her impending turn towards adulthood, but it's still hard to swallow. This past year our little girl, who turns 17 next week, got a job and is now a driver and a full blown teen socialite. She's moving into the next phase of her life, a grown up. Her desire to work and be close to friends is understandable. Her mom is also expecting her 6th this next year and everyone is excited about the new baby and all that brings. So this year we will mail her gifts to her instead of seeing her face when she opens them. Man! How did my parents ever do it!?!?!?!

This year I have decided not to do a holiday card and letter as well. I just don't have it in me and I must say it makes me mad, but I just can't do it. I may change my mind, but I don't see it happening. Sorry guys. Maybe a Chinese New Year card instead is what I'll do. Hummmmm. With me giving up my week when J went to LA for Thanksgiving, it also means that he's back with his dad this weekend and that means that we wont be getting our tree or decorating the house until next weekend! Isn't that like the weekend before Christmas???!!!??? Argh! I tried to ask J if we (Mike and I) go get our tree and do a "little" decorating this weekend and that question was met with a resounding NO! He made me swear that we'd wait until next weekend. Oh the things we do for our kids! So I'm still decorless and have only been able to put out poinsettias at this point. Do you see my reasoning for being a bah humbug?!?!?!

okay enough of my blathering! Thanks for letting me get that off my fingertips and listening if you decided to read on. I may sound a bit down, but trust me I'm far from it! Just venting. We have great things going on this holiday season, and the outlook for 2009 is GRAND! Next year will be an incredible holiday season filled with wonderment and joy in the face of someone who we love so much already and dream about the day she is here with us. Where are those referrals anyway?!?! We have got to see some sweet little face here soon before we all go nuts with anticipation!

6 comments:

Vent on, love. The changes life brings CAN be so difficult to swallow sometimes. But, that shared time is cherished time. All time with those we love is such a gift (yeah, sometimes that is hard to remember in the midst of all the challenges).

Now, I'd love a little prezzie myself this Christmas but I suspect I may be having a little New Year's gift instead.

This will be the last Christmas without our wee ones for BOTH of us! THAT is some good news.

You vent all you want.....it is a frustrating and stressful time of year.

I so feel your pain with the sharing on holidays!! We do not have Nick this Christmas Eve either....and I hate it!! We will get him back at noon, but it is not the same as seeing them wake up first thing Christmas morning!

Hang in there....just think about next year. You will have J and Jenny for Thanksgiving and Christmas!!

Hugs,

Lisa

Let it out hon. It is hard and I can say that me being from divorced parents, the easier it is on the kid and less arguing/issue, the less guilt we feel for not being able to split ourselves in half to be there for both sides. You are doing all you can for your J & H and in the long run, it will help them.

Keep smilin!

.....sometimes not cramming everything into a small amount of time can be quite liberating...do only what is good for your soul....and breathe...the rest will follow.

Vent away...and think of all the money you will be saving on electricity by not plugging in all those extra lights until the last minute!! Ha!

You can vent all you want, after all it's your blog and we all have days when we don't feel cheery.

I too have been feeling the hum bug bite me. Sending you big hugs.

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