Monday, April 07, 2008 - 
14 comments
14 comments
A new journey
I wrote this last year, this is exactly what I think about this time of year every year so I thought I would just post it again, but! I have added more to the end to say what is on my mind today.
6:30 AM
April 5, 1995
I was hooked up to Pitocin and nothing happened.
By that night there was NO baby in sight.
GIVE ME MY EPIDURAL!!!!
And let me sleep tonight!!
The docs said okay, that baby ain't coming tonight!
What a nice feeling I had when they turned out the lights.
The new day dawned!
TODAY"S the day I thought!
April 6, 1995
The day passed painfully.
No baby in sight.
I wanted to be done.
I was at the end of my rope!
The doctors did say "hang in there my girl, it's a coming soon!"
"Soon???" "It's been a long time!"
"Maybe tonight!"
The night did fall.
No baby at all.
Morning rose again.
Friday.
April 7th, 1995
FINALLY I reached the spot..."Your at 10!!! Let's push!!!"
OH MY GOD! It's time to bear down and it's early morn!
Push push push was all that was heard.
FOR HOURS!!!!! Try I did....
UNTIL I could go no more.
Something hurt.
The midwife said "It's okay you can do it....3 more hours of pushing!!!!"
(I can't tell you what I said...this is a family blog!)
She left and never came back.
A doctor came in and said "oh no this baby is HUGE!!!"
"I told you!" I said!!!!!
Wheeled away I was.....
To the cold room.
Where at 11:39am.
He was finally born!
All 9 pounds 13 3/4 ounces of him!
2 WEEKS EARLY!!
That boy wanted food right away!
He'd taken care of me the whole time in the womb, making sure my blood sugar was doing fine.
His grandma gave him is first 2 ounces.
From a bottle.
My boobs said "No we can't feed him fast enough".
I brought him home, all 11+ pounds of him.
Just me and my son.
He became my passion.
He has changed my life.
He has helped me understand who I am.
Almost a man.
He now stands as tall as me.
He makes me proud everyday.
Today as he turns 13 I am content with his passion in life but I fret of what lies ahead for him.
Things are changing within him and around him.
I want so badly to keep him in my arms and never let him go.
I know I can't hold on forever and I can feel the pull of him now. Although the pull is slight, it is there and will only become stronger.
So with his 13th year here I will begin to prepare myself for his next journey...from child to man. We will work together in his journey. Me prepping him for experiences to come. Him testing the waters. Me standing my ground. Him shaking it up. Me understanding. Him understanding.
Although in this future we may not see eye to eye sometimes, I know he will be secretly holding my hand on this new path. And I will continue to hold him up and be passionate about his life.
Happy 13 my sweet, sweet son.
14 comments:
Happy Birthday Young Man!
Beautiful smile.
Keep smilin!
What a sweet story.
Why did the midwife leave you?!
Fantastic post. Happy birthday to your new teenager!
Now, I'm no expert on the topic, but I would think a midwife would be able to handle a few nasty words in their direction. I mean, it is childbirth and "only 3 more hours of pushing" Come on, of course you're going to get an earful after that! So either your midwife was a sissy or you said something really mean (which I'm sure you would never do, hehe).
Tell Jake I said Happy Birthday!
Love You!
-Liz
Happy birthday!!! That's a long time to be in labour. And that was one huge baby!
Love that but HOLY MOLY I could hardly tear myself beyond the line of how long you pushed. No, no, no!!!
Happy Birthday, young man.
I couldn't have written it any better. And as my baby turned 13 this year, I am feeling the same emotions.
Happy Birthday
Lauren
That was so fun to read. It makes me think of my own experience with the boys. Happy birthday-- WOW 13 years-- wow!!! Plus, I cant belive he was so HUGE!!! I was 2 weeks early also and I weighted 10 pounds 9 ounces-- I WAS HUGE!!! What a handsome boy- I mean MAN!!!
Christy :)
What great insight you have. You are such a great mom!!
Happy birthday to you Jacob!!
Enjoy :)
ugh....my son is two years behind...I can't stand the thoughts of them becoming teenagers...I'm not ready!!!
I got choked up reading this! My baby looked so much like yours and it really only seemed like yesterday but he's 19 now! They grow up much too quickly.
It was nice getting to meet you today. I've Bloglined you and I'm looking forward to seeing your family grow in the coming months.
:)
Donna
Happy Birthday!!!
Yep, getting to be a man but mum... let him go and fall on his own, get up, brush the dirt off and learn but you will always been in the background to be his mum and help him whenever you can... What a handsome boy... I have a 10 year old niece... wanna match them now?
So sweet! I've got a year and a half until my baby turns 13...my heart is torn between wanting time to hurry past so we can complete this adoption, and wanting it to stand still so 13 will not come so soon.!
Awww. Mine are turning 14 in a few days. It is not fair how they grow up so fast. NOT FAIR. Your son is a very handsome guy!
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