31 August 2007

Friday, August 31, 2007 - 6 comments

I think I'm ready

But I'm afraid to make the first step. I decided yesterday that I think I'm ready to start the nursery. I think. As I type this, I'm hesitent again. Oh what to do! The room is practicly empty right now and MAN I could have some serious fun in there, but but but...I told my wonderful husband last night of my thoughts and he said, "are you sure?" I said yeah.

So this weekend we are going to finish up the dresser which I started 7 months ago and never finished, it's been sitting lonely in the garage just waiting for me. After that I'll slowly start to make a place for a little girl, who is also waiting for her forever family. A place where she can play, imagine, dream, cry, sleep, read, talk on the phone for hours, listen to music, have sleep overs, have time outs, relax, color, dance, nap, do homework, gossip, pretend, be safe, and be loved by her family.

So by starting this process again, I am giving into the fact that I may have to look at an empty room for MANY MORE MONTHS to come. Or maybe my dreams will come true and we are on the down hill side of our wait for our daughter and the door wont be kept closed to her room, but wide open to be filled with love and warmth waiting for her to come fill it with joy.

Thank you to all of you who have dropped me some hugs. It's been a tough couple of weeks and I'm so blessed to know that I am not alone in this pain. I'm beyond words at how happy I am to have these connections in my life!!! Thank you! Thank you!

6 comments:

I didn't know that you were struggling. I'm glad that you are moving forward with the nursery. I can't wait to see it.

I am so happy for you! Our nursery has been a work in progress now for over a year. But it makes me happy to walk in there and see all the lovely things waiting for her to use.

Have fun!

Keep smilin!

I imagine the whole process of getting her room ready will only make you feel CLOSER to her... soak it up... go for it!

I say....do the room....fill it with all your hopes, dreams and love....then you can go into it and dream about her. That's what I did! ;) Don't be afraid....it will make you feel closer to her!

You made me teary! :) Love you friend.

Doing the playroom was a great outlet for me. Yes, it stands empty now but it won't forever and I love imagining my kiddo in it.

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