Thursday, June 14, 2007 - 
5 comments
5 comments
Wanting and wishing
My internal baby meter has been spiked!
I want a baby sooooooo bad and I can't.
I have to wait for many more months before my meter is satisfied.
I know I can wait, but sometimes it hurts.
My baby sadness actually started from one tiny comment my sister made. It stung and it still stings. Bad. It amazes me how people can take their fertility for granted and not at least pretend to be cautious of the non fertile around them. For a woman who is jobless, homeless and not married, my sister is wanting to be pregnant again and soon. Her comment was about a child she saw on my computer screen and how much that child will look like her baby that she will have with her boyfriend. That was followed by "oh I can't wait!". OUCH. OUCH.
Oh to be able to know you can create life. That knowledge is powerful in so many ways. I never really thought about it before, but now I can see how the fertile can and the infertile can not. I hope I never took my fertility for granted and hurt someone who was in my shoes that I wear now. If I did, GOD am I sorry.
5 comments:
OH Kayce. I know you were hurt... I'm so sorry. Being infertile is one of the hardest things (maybe the hardest) I have ever had to live through. Watching friends have babies... 2,3x ... family asking questions...not so sensitive friends rubbing baby in face... etc... Unfortunately, you just learn to live with it. Hopefully one day your sister will realize the pain she has caused you. Be strong. Your hope... your future...your daughter is in China. Hang on for the ride! :) Hugs.
I know exactly what you mean. I like to think that people don't know what they are saying, or that it will hurt you. They simply don' think before they speak! When my hairdresser asked if I had any children, I told her "No, I can't have any." (sometimes I just don't feel like explaining the whole adoption thing) Do you know what she said to me? "Oh. You're lucky. My teenage daughter drives me crazy!". I couldn't even respond to her. What a stupid thing to say! A simple "I'm sorry. That must be hard" would have sufficed. I wish more people knew the right things to say(or NOT to say), and I'm sorry you were hurt by one of those comments, especially from a family member.
ouch is right. I wish I could give you a big hug.
I know some people for whatever reason can't even adopt.
Is she jealous of you? You have everything that she wants...and she can have the one thing you want.
ps. The next time someone asks why you don't have a child with your husband...tell them you haven't consumated the marriage. That will give them something to talk about.
I think the infertility road is the roughest road I have ever been on, especially when some make it look so easy.
I still have trouble accepting it, maybe I never really will. I know how hard those types of comments can be.
This has been a tough week for me. I am just thankful that after a few rough days of wanted our daughter home things swing back to the tolerable area again for a while.
Have a good weekend. I hope you can get some rest. You are one VERY busy woman!
People really don't think before they speak sometimes. Sorry your feelings were hurt :( I've been hit like this before and it totally sucks. You just look at them and think..really? you really said that? wow.
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