01 May 2012

Tuesday, May 01, 2012 - 17 comments

It's time to share.

After many months of prayer and much thought, I came to the decision to share something here that I've kept quiet about for over a year.  I'd gone back and forth about this for months...should I or should I not?  And after not swaying from my decision for a while and asking my husband if it was okay, I've decided to write this all down and share it in hopes that what I'm about to document will help someone someday who will walk this path we've been on for the last 14 months.

We are loosing our home.
We have lost everything.
Everything that we've worked so hard to get...is gone.
Our dream vanished.

In one moment what we thought was good was suddenly bad and we lost almost 50% of our income.  Within weeks we found ourselves living WELL BEYOND our means and we knew exactly what lay ahead of us...bankruptcy, foreclosure, loss of stability, loss of possessions, and the reevaluating of our lives.  A deep reevaluating...to the core.

At the time when this began we lived a very stressful lifestyle trying to keep up with the Jones...the nice cars, the perfect home that we put everything into, the things that made us acceptable, stuff.  Stuff.  Just stuff.  Then I sat at my grandmothers hospital bed and held her bare hand as she slipped from this world and into eternity.  She left with nothing.  She wanted none of her possessions in her last days.  Just the gown they gave to her when she checked into the hospital.  I remember asking her if I could bring her a favorite blanket or her lip balm or a comfy night gown from home and she always said, "...no, I can't take it with me."  And when she slipped away from me she didn't take anything with her but the love of her family and her memories.

I stopped.  And looked around me.  At all my blessings.  At what God has given me.  ALL that He has provided me and gifted me!  I am beyond blessed!

And what He was taking away from me.

Then the world became crystal clear and my bitterness at our situation turned to humbleness and thankfulness.  I have SO MUCH!  Why am I crying over loosing my "dream car"?  Or watching our trailer get towed away by some strange man?  These things I can't take with me...yes I can take the memories of our many camping trips but I can't take that trailer with me and I know plenty of people that have camped out in the wide open with just a blanket.  But the material things I'd become obsessed with I will only work harder to pay for them instead of work hard to spend with what's most important...my family.

When I came to this realization, a light went on in my soul and I took this path the Lord has put us on with a new attitude.   A humbled attitude.  An attitude filled with a very hard look at myself.  A step back from societies expectations.   And a deep desire to learn what is more important.

It's been a tough walk.
It's been a growing walk.
It's been a scary walk.
It's been a sad walk.
It's been a wonderful walk.
It's been a learning walk.
It's been a sharing walk.

It's been a life changing walk.

We have not kept this secret from those close to us because we felt we couldn't hide any longer behind our Oz.  We went forward with the choice to take this on as best we could with all our might to save what we could but do it with nothing less than a smile, a Grace filled heart and a positive attitude...because honestly, what else were we to do?  We've tried everything to save our home and our lifestyle but when it comes down to it...it's all just stuff.  We put ourselves here and I'm not going to let it affect the rest of my life and make me bitter and mean.   Life is way too short.  What "stuff" I do have, I can feel a heart beating in my arms and THAT is what I want more than anything else.  My home is where my family is, regardless if the shell is 2200 square feet or 300.  My family is my home.  The Lord has a plan for us and I know we are already sharing that plan.  I have no regrets.

So here we are with the notice in hand that the final chapter of this journey is coming to an end....we received our 90 day notice last Tuesday to leave the home my husband has put every ounce of sweat into to make beautiful for us.  The home we've loved in for 10 years.  The home our son spent a large part of his life in.  The home we made for the daughter who has profoundly changed our lives.   The home where the Lord filled our hearts with His love and changed our lives forever by His grace.

In just a few short weeks I will close the gate behind me and take with us the amazing memories we made here and the lesson we learned.  And I will move forward with a humble heart and hands full of beating hearts...my family.

To be continued....


I lost mine in a short sale. I was doing what I thought was the right thing to hang on until I could sell and hanging on was so much harder. I have struggled for the last 6 years in and out of jobs keeping none longer than 1 year. It has been a very hard difficult stressful journey and I am not at the end yet. Praying for you all!

Oh sweetie. Praying for all of you as you move forward as a family. A family with God at the helm and leading every step of the way. Stepping out in faith, trusting Him to lead even when it's too dark to see your hand in front of your face. God is still there and He is still leading you.

Praying for you as you see what doors He will open for you next. Loving you. Here for you always.

Excited to see what is next for your precious family!!



You all are in my heart. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. You sound upbeat and full of hope. I am sure your strong faith and all of the love you share will be your guide on this journey. I hope this new path is not too difficult for any of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Like Polar Bear mentioned, you sound like you have hope; that is something that can never be taken away. So sorry you are going trough this. Such a brave thing to share with all of us. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Keep your faith in your heart, keep your strength in your mind... Always have hope. Your never far from my thoughts... Love you sweet girl.

Girl you are soooo going to be ok... You know I am not a material girl and you guys are filled with WAY LOVE and your family is AMAZING... Love you sooo much... you know that we here in AZ. admire and love you guys to pieces....
MUWAHHHHH... and you still haven't texted me from lastnight....(SAD FACE)... Love ya

Thanks for the humble reminder!!!!

Oh sweetheart, I was so sad to read this. I am so sorry you're going through this, I can't even imagine the stress it has put on you. As always, your incredible attitude shines through, and I know you will end up in a good place. Sending all my love and good thoughts. And hugs. And more good thoughts. Anytime you want a hug or a shoulder, please let me know. TubaDad gets back in town Fri morning, and I can meet you anywhere to talk, laugh, cry, drink wine, walk, whatever makes you smile.

You already know how I feel about this and you know I know what it's like to lose everything. I'm glad you shared. Sometimes things like this are easier to carry when you don't feel like you have to hide it. I love you so much and will support you any way you need. Hugs.

I am so sorry to read this and that you are having to go through this. What you said in this post reminds me of things I've read recently of what Dave Ramsey has said. We started Financial Peace University recently and hopefully we can make that plan work. You may want to check it out and see if there's ANYTHING that can be done. I'm sure you've tried what seems like everything. I hope things work out as best they can for you.


We are going through a similar situation and although I have not shared the details I can truly relate with many of the emotions that you are feeling.

As a friend (even though we have never met in real life) I am so thankful for your words to show me what exactly is the best thing in our lives and that is our family. Your words are inspirational and truly allows me to remember to trust in God for whatever plan he has.

I will continue to pray for all of you and I know that things will be well in the end. You have a bright future missy! You better get some shades!

Oh my sweet friend. I am so sorry that this is happening. They keep saying the economy is getting better, but I just can't believe it when this is happening to people I care about. My hopes and prayers are with you.

I'm so sorry, Kayce. But I know you will be led to the next place and provided for. Still, it's hard to walk away and start over.

I made a bad choice 2.5 years ago when Michael was sick to refinance to an ARM due in 5. At that time, I could not imagine that his health would not stabilize and that we would not be buying a larger home together. Since then, my home has lost more than $100k in value, and I cannot refinance because the equity isn't there. I can afford my payments now, but I don't know what things are going to look like in 2.5 short years. Just trying to trust the Lord with this and so much else. What strange times we live in. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.


I have been slow in reading blogs recently and just read your post here. I am sorry for the pain you and your family are going through, however, having gone through this as a child when my mom packed us all up and left our cherished items, home, etc to move across the nation, I could never have imagined what God had planned in that heartbreaking experience. It is in these times (as it sounds like you are already finding) that God shows you what truly is important and what truly is worth living for. Last week our pastor spoke on money and he had a great visual. He had huge, long white rope and it had a red tip on the end of it. He said, so often we put all our time, money, thoughts on this tiny slice of life and forget the Eternity that is ahead in the Kingdom of God. 2 weeks ago we had our cable shut off due to not paying our bill and at first I thought, "oh my gosh, our cable, internet, phone is all off!" One day into the shut off I had played Candyland with Lauren, we sat at a quiet dinner table and Lauren showed me all this amazing sign language that she has learened at preschool that I had no idea about, and it quickly settled in that having our sevices shut off was a clear blessing. God spoke to me very vividly and made me aware of what I think is important and what I can't live without is sometimes keeping me from truly living!

I have a heavy heart for you because I can imagine the pain you are going through, however, in some ways, I am excited to hear all about how God shows you what true living is all about. God bless you Kayce. I hope I didn't say anything here that upsets you, sometimes writing things out isn't the same as if I were saying them to you. If you geta chance, pick up the book by Katie Davis "Kisses from Katie". She was inspiring to me in regard to living the life God intends for us...love ya! God Bless you and your famaily!!!

The above is from me, Mardi. I don't know why it posted as anonymous.

It's so long since I've had the chance to catch up with you (no internet and moving house). I was moved to tears by what you wrote: not because of the financial issues (though I am so sorry you have had this stress) but because of your amazing attitude towards what has happened. Thank you for sharing this. You have really affected my thinking in such a positive way.