11 February 2011

Friday, February 11, 2011 - 4 comments

2/11/10 - A beginning really has no end.

It's time to fly away home.... 
February 11, 2010

As I sleepily type this post, life outside is still going at top speed.  All of China is making a mass exodus to go home for the biggest holiday of the year, Chinese New Year.  It is wild to witness with your own eyes.  Here in Guangzhou, the bus terminals are just lines and lines of people pouring into the streets.  The train stations have tents set up to put people in while they wait for the train which could be hours.  The metro stations are overflowing.  And tomorrow we will see what the airports are like.  Yesterday our guide said that in the next 48 hours over 2.1 million people will be be leaving this city.  Walking around today was like walking in a ghost town.  All the shops are closed and chained up and what is left is garbage from the sales that happened last weekend.  Firecrackers litter the streets everywhere.  Amazing.  And amazing to think I’m leaving this.

Is it really the end??  To sit back and think that we have been standing, sitting, sleeping and eating in China for the last 16 days is unreal.  Completely unreal.  While we have done so much and accomplished goals that we set for ourselves years ago, it still feels as though we haven’t done it all.  You cannot do it all while in China, there is just TOO much to do.  TOO much to see, to smell, to taste, to touch, to absorb.  I’m not ready to leave to be perfectly honest with you.  I am just beginning to understand where I am and how I fit in.  But it is time to go home.  It’s time to move forward for the first time in over four years.  That is exciting beyond words and what pushes me to pack while I can barely keep my eyes open.
We too will be leaving this beautiful city tomorrow and headed to our home.  A home in another country.  One where we have freedoms that are unheard of here.  A home with heat, clean water and a voice.  The last 24 hours here in our little hotel room have been tough.  We have had very little sleep and have a beautiful daughter in our arms who we feel knows she is leaving something behind.  Our little cricket has been fighting sleep and will only calm when we walk the streets of her country.  We are leaving everything she’s ever known.  We will always keep China in her heart and in her mind for this is the home she was born to first.   The day she says, “let’s go to China” is the day I pack a bag and explore her country with her in the lead.

This trip has been incredible.  There is nothing that could have prepared us for what the last 16 days has been like.  No blog, no newspaper, no t.v. show can prepare you for what this adoption journey is like.  It is amazing.  It is life changing.  It is challenging.  And it is simply beautiful. I wouldn’t change a thing that we’ve done to get here and I wouldn’t change a thing about our trip.  Besides seeing the sights we’ve seen, I’ve watched my son begin to look at life really differently.  I am so proud of him and how he has dealt with this challenging experience.  I love you J!  And Michael....I can’t wait for life to continue to unfold for us.  You are the love in my soul that I share with the world and with our children.  Thank you for being you and most of all for loving me!

Thank you to all of YOU who have followed along with us for your constant prayers, they have lifted us so much.  Thank you for following along on this journey with us and leaving comments, it means so much and has kept us connected to what we miss.  Thank you for your love and support from the first day we embarked on this journey, July 19, 2005 to tomorrow when we land in San Francisco, February 12, 2010.  Thank you for continuing to keep us in your prayers and for all the love we need as we continue now on a new path, one with a beautiful daughter born in our hearts and placed in our family by God.  Thank you!  
Mike and Kayce
PS - We’ll be back to blogging at our family blog as soon as I catch my breath!  

Wow!  There's not much more to add to what I wrote one year ago.  I can say though that I would walk this journey again in a heart beat.  No doubt I'll do it again and again if it is in His plan.  

One of the things I remember about our last night in China was the dinner we had with the remaining families from our travel group.  We enjoyed the last few hours reminiscing about the last two weeks, sharing our joy and our sorrow with each other.  We shared a bottle or two of Great Wall red wine and raised our glasses to the beautiful girls sitting around the table and toasted China for all it had given to us, not only our daughters but a deeper understanding of it's foreign land.  We made the most treasured of friendships with these families...my China sisters and brothers...my daughters China sisters...our China family.  

The next morning as we all boarded separate planes or trains, some to Hong Kong others to Shanghai, and us to Beijing I remember being completely smothered with emotions about leaving.  I did not want to go.  The entire way to the airport my mind was racing with ideas of ways to stay.  To this day I still am looking for ways to take our lives to China to live and work there for a period of time.  It's a dream of mine...almost an obsession.  Someday I know my dream will happen. 


and, I will come visit you in China!


Incredible post Kayce...you are so correct in that nothing you read or what someone tells you can prepare you for what is China.

I hope your dream comes true to go back, I would love to do the same too!


i can't believe it's been a year. i know you will make that dream come true.

Like you, I was not ready to leave. I was in love with China and it's people and as much as I missed home and my family and friends, there was a part of me that didn't want to leave. Didn't want to take my daughter away from everything and everyone that she knew. There was love for a country I hardly knew about 5 years earlier. There was guilt even though I knew Hannah would have an amazing life. There was love overflowing for the daughter God placed in my arms.

We are forever blessed that God chose you and I to become mother's to 2 precious daughters who were born across the world and now, thanks to modern technology, will have the wonderful opportunity to become friends, just as their mothers are. God sure does love us!!!