Today I remember 365 days in the past...
I was completely unprepared for the call the way I'd wanted to be. I didn't think referrals would be in the States yet, at least not until tomorrow. I went to work that morning with butterflies fluttering about in my belly. I worked at my clients house like a robot. I was emotionally numb from the roller coaster ride we'd been on since October. I was SURE if we did get a call it would be to say we didn't get a referral because we got turned down at the 11th hour. I called my mom that morning and told her not to come by to wait for the call, I said, "maybe tomorrow". My husband went to San Francisco that day for a meeting. I came home from work and was a dirty mess, unshowered and sloppy looking. I had no video camera set up, yet my paper full of questions was on a nearby table. I was in a fog. I was planning on coming home from work and cleaning my own house after the birthday party from the night before.
Then there was a knock on my door. It was my oldest sister standing there with a smile and a huge hug. She said, "today's the day!" I replied, "I don't think so and besides I told mom not to come and Mike's not here, calls haven't started in Europe and look at me, I'm a mess! Tomorrow's the day!" She was adamant that today was the day and said after stalking RQ for the last four months she was 100% sure the phone would ring. We sat and talked for what seemed like hours. The entire time she was keeping me focused on other thoughts and we checked in every so often with RQ...nothing. We looked at blogs of other referrals from the past. We shared dreams. She held my hand when I fretted and kept filling me up with warm tea.
UPDATED Picture....(My sister took this on our referral day and sent it to me today. I had no idea there was a picture snapped in those moments. I SO treasure this little piece of that incredible day!)
Then the phone rang and we both froze. It rang almost 5 times before I could answer it. I looked at her and started crying and told her to find a video camera because Mike was going to miss this entire thing and she said, "there's no time"! I said, "what if they're just going to tell me we didn't get matched?" She screamed...."ANSWER THE PHONE!" And I did.
On the other end of the line was a voice that told me who was calling and said, "Congratulations! Kayce you have a baby girl and that's all the information I have for you right now so don't ask any questions and I'll email you her information within an hour." Gulp. Tears. Gulp. Tears. Shaking. Gulp.
I remember my sisters arms around me and there were words spoken but I don't remember who was talking or what was being said. The room was spinning and it felt as though we were having an earthquake. At least 15 minutes passed before I caught my breath long enough to say I should call Mike and tell him he's a daddy again. I got his voicemail and later found out he listened to that message on a street just shy of Chinatown and cried and listened to the message again. He later told me he was so excited he accidently erased the message instead of saving it for eternity. He made it home that day from The City in record time. I managed to call our families to tell them the news. There was pure shock all around. And not 20 minutes after that beautiful call, my email chimed that I had a new message and there she was. But I waited almost 3 hours before I opened it. My sister pushed me into the shower and swore she'd not peek at that email! I had to pick Big J up from school that day and was a shaking, smiling mess of joy to tell him the news. He wanted to know all the details but I said we had to wait for Mike to get home before we could open that email. We pulled in the driveway 30 minutes later and there was my husbands truck.
Five minutes later this is what we saw...
And here is our reaction:
It's been 365 days since I first saw this beautiful face. Since I fell in love with those soulful eyes. Since I touched every part of her face even before I held her in my arms. Since I was given a gift from God. 365 days of staring at those pictures which I treasure so very much! It seems like yesterday. And now we begin the walk into another 365 days filled with hope, preparation, answered prayers, celebrations, first moments together, beginning a new life, and a newfound joy.
I love you my sweet, sweet girl! I love you! Today is a day I will never forget. One that fills my heart with love and pride of who you are and what you mean to me. I treasure you like the stars in the night sky and will always be by your side where ever you are.