It was also a bit of a lesson.
Yesterday our boy came home from camp or work I should say. He's sleeping right now in the room next to his sisters, who is over the moon that her bubba is home...finally. The feeling of contentment for me is complete, while he will most likely take much longer to feel settled I'm sure. He has come home to a new house, one in which the rest of us have already made our own. He has come home with a new outlook, a new head on his shoulders. He has to re-step his way into his new reality. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning last night talking and sharing. He's changed. He has a peace in him I've never seen. I see this in him and I feel a bit mad at myself for missing him so deeply...he needed this summer and I was feeling selfish in missing what summers used to be for all of us.
Life is moving forward. My summer has been a deep thought process that I can not stop the growth of my children and I must, MUST sit back and be at peace with it. It's hard but a part of every parents world. Our children are ours for such a short period of time then they are on the verge of going away to college and from there...on their own. My one blessing...we have a three year old running us in circles which means my world full of children isn't quite done yet...Thank you God! :) That gives me joy.
My lesson learned? The moments are fleeting that we are given to spend with our children. Children in your arms only a brief time and then they sprout wings when we look away for a minute and they begin to fly. I must not focus on making each season perfect with rituals that someday vanish or change...summers will forever be different, just as any other season that I've made "the same" year in and year out. But now I know that's okay!! I move forward from this summer with a new outlook...focus on making the moments we have all their own and take what comes at me with much joy. Life moves forward and it's fast...and beautiful!
I've been so removed from journaling our days and have just been enjoying them...it's been a good break and much needed. The house is once again filled with teenagers and the excitement for their upcoming senior year is so awesome to witness! So as we wrap up the end of our summer and head into a school year like no other, I'm going to enjoy these last days of The Summer of 2012 and spend those moments being mom, which is my biggest gift ever received.
Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
4 Children born to a young man
are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.
5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!