13 August 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009 - 22 comments

God is in charge. I am not.



Yesterday afternoon my mom called to tell us that my beloved grandma has cancer. The news has shocked me and has rocked me to my core.

My grandma is my hero.

She is my strength.

She is my guide in the life I lead.

In the last year I have had a strong pulling in my heart to make more time to spend with my grandma, to prioritize my time to involve weekly card games with her. The pulling or almost words being whispered to me have become stronger and stronger in the last few months. While at the lake I even had mentioned it to my mom and made a promise to myself to make my talk a walk as soon as school started.

All the while another part of me has been surrounded by cancer lately. From friends across the blogosphere to friends in my own neighborhood, cancer seems to be everywhere around me. I even just wrote about it in my post on Tuesday. I have been feeling like I was being smothered in it. The hate I feel in my heart for cancer has been SO overwhelming these past few weeks. I couldn't shake the anger or the wonderment of why. And then when I listened to my moms words last night, that whispering voice that has been talking to me over the last year said, "I've been trying to tell you".

Besides being overcome with raw emotion I could feel a warmth surround me, a comforting warmth. Sitting outside wrapped in a blanket, I watched the sky and listened to every word my mom said and felt closer to God than I have ever felt in my life. Ever. He knows what this woman means to me and he had been preparing me for yesterdays news.

It is beyond difficult for me right now, but I'm not alone for that I'm sure. He is right by my side and will help me to be the strength I need to be for the woman who has taught me what it means to be a hero.

Please keep my grandma and our family in your prayers.

22 comments:

I am sitting here crying.... I wish I was there to give you a BIG HUG... I sooo know what Grandmother's mean to us as Grandchildren..
I am sooo sorry....
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers..
I LOVE YOU GIRLY..
If you need anything please let me know.. I am here for you whatever you need...
HUGS..

Aww crap! Cancer is evil and horrendous. But it can be beaten. The power of positive thinking and the power to fight can make this evil go away.

Hugs to you and your family and BIG ones to your Grandma!

Keep smilin!

My heart aches for you and your family. My dad fought cancer twice in the last few years. So far, it looks like he's okay. I'm praying for a good outcome for your sweet Grandma too.

Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!

I'm sorry that your family has to go through this. Not only does my husband have cancer, but so does my grandmother. It's a lot to bear. You are placing your trust in the right One. He will see us through these difficult days.

((hugs))

Oh my lord you poor thing. Now it is my time to support you. You have been amazing to me this last while. Remember all you have said and told me. I know how you are feeling but this is part of journey and we need to see it through.

Card on its way my dear friend.

LOTS & LOTS & LOTS OF LOVE!

Lea

Hugs and prayers coming your way.

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I know it is not easy. My Grandmother died of cancer and it was a very emotional and hard time for all of us...cancer is an unwelcome visitor and 3D is right, it can be beat. My Dad beat cancer and hopefully your Grandmother will too! I will pray for your Grandmother and your family! Hang in there.

Kayce, I am so sorry. Praying for you, friend.

Kayce you are in my prayers as is your Grandmother. Cancer is horrible...she can beat it. My mother had it 6 years ago right at the time we got Grace and has been cancer free for 5 years.

with hugs and love,
Gail

Wow. What a wonderful tribute to your Grandmom. I hope you share with her how much you admire her. Cancer can be beat... my MIL is proof...

I lost my paternal grandmother to cancer when I was 10. I wish I had had the opportunity to know her as an adult. My maternal grandmother died at 91 a few years ago. I made the same decision you did in 1998. Until she died in 2004, I had lunch with her once a week. I learned amazing things about this woman that even her children didn't know. I feel like I was given such a gift to get to know her as well as I did.

Listen to your instincts and spend that precious time with her. Live with no regrets.

So sorry to hear your bad news. Praying for strength for you and your family, and healing for your beloved grandma.

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm praying for a positive outcome.

PS. I got your card. Thanks for sending it. It was so very thoughtful of you. You're such a sweetie. :)

Oh Kayce. I am so sorry. Your grandma and you will be in my prayers Every. Single. Day. I'm sorry :(

Huge Hugs Kayce!! You and you grandma will be in my thoughts and prayers....

I'm here if you need me.

She's beautiful Kayce, I will be keeping you, your Grandmother and your Mother in my prayers.

So sorry friend. Praying for your Grandma.

I'm so sorry to read this. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

So sorry to hear this Kayce! Sending good thoughts, huge hugs, and prayers.

Oh, Kayce... I am so very sorry to hear this. *sigh* Sending prayers and hugs your way.

I'm so terribly sorry, sending you hugs and strength...

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