tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-381849852024-03-05T11:04:41.415-05:00Our Boy and His CricketKaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.comBlogger927125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-1891191326928339732013-04-15T01:30:00.000-04:002013-04-15T01:30:28.658-04:00Life, love and laughterIt's been way too long since I've posted or even been to this little space! Although I don't know how life becomes so busy it does and things start to drop off your to do list or your priorities begin to change and your focus goes elsewhere. This is what has happened with us and while it's all good, I do miss the connection of blogging. This little blog helped me for such a long time and has been an amazing way to document our life...looking back over it makes my heart smile! <br />
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With the refocusing of priorities I've not only stopped blogging but also capturing our lives through my camera lens...yes a huge shame! If I do snap a picture it's with my iPhone and that's about it. That needs to change, I've been telling myself that the last few weeks. I've also been wanting to get back here again or at least get back to blogging but maybe a fresh start. This blog has shown the major transformation that my life has gone through over the last eight years, a transformation only God has worked in me. I am blessed! <br />
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So with a lot of love I am ready to close this little blog I called my life and move on to the next chapter. The next chapter has already begun and I am looking forward to documenting it and all that lies ahead for my family. <a href="http://gracelovejoy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"> Grace, Love and Joy</a> is our new little spot for our family. God has wonderful plans I can not fathom but I trust in His word and lift my hands in praise! God is good!<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-15089521450918789562012-10-07T23:13:00.000-04:002012-10-07T23:13:30.389-04:00Fall is in the airIt is most definitely fall around here...the weather is beach perfect...sunny days, lots of warmth and not a tourist to be seen for miles!! It's quite literally the best time to come visit! But the best part of fall around here, besides that it's more like summer if you close your eyes, but if you open them you see all the colors changing and the amazing sunsets give it away...it's fall and soon it will be winter. To get into the groove of the season we spent Saturday at a fabulous farm near us and quickly decided to make this the first of MANY visits over the years. It was SO much fun and a <u><b>perfect</b></u> family day together.<br />
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<a href="http://www.uesugifarms.com/" target="_blank">Uesugi Farms</a> was our backdrop to this most amazing day. We got to do some honey tasting and we agreed that the bee hive was kinda weird but the orange blossom honey was yummy! The farm was alive with color and bees and people and lots of joy! They had two mazes...a little one for tiny people and a HUGE one for the more adventuresome. We loved them both! It was even more fun since we'd been learning all about the letter M last week for school and so this was a perfect way to see M in action by exploring a real maze and finding the M (from farm) inside the maze as well as use maps to get through the farm and the maze...it's all about education now! LOL!!<br />
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Another first for us...a little pony ride! One of those moments for me that made me cry. Our little sprout was so excited and waited so patiently for her turn. She was so adamant that she have this pony and I couldn't figure out why until we got to him and she pointed out to me that he was the only one with a purple bridle...she'd been looking at all of them to see which one had what she needed. So we will call our first ride a success with the purple pony. :)<br />
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Of course no carousel can be passed by by our girl...she LOVES to ride them! This trip she managed to only get two rides in...last weekend at Happy Hollow she got something like 7 rides! :)<br />
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The farm had SO much to do...tractor rides out to butterfly fields...cow train rides...petting zoo...crafts...hayrides...I could go on and on! But the best part (at least for me) was the delish food! YUM! I'm going back just for the tri tip sandwich with a cup of hot chopped up garlic butter poured all over it! I still stink! <br />
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Inside the huge maze we got lost only for a few minutes and took the advice to follow the clues and map to get through safely...it was HUGE! But SO cool!! At some of the dead ends you could see fields of flowers and statues of butterflies or an untouched pumpkin patch and we were even able to stand in the middle of the O! A big hit since we studied the heck out of that letter a few weeks ago. :)</div>
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The maze has the name of the farm and year written within it so it was fun to walk the letters while we were searching out the clues.</div>
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Eventually we made it to the actual pumpkin patch and pyramid of pumpkins...WOW! We picked up a little round pumpkin and another fun one called "one too many" which is white and orange is almost looks like its actually fabric. <br />
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I can not wait until next year to see how much this little sprout of ours has grown!! She too can't wait to go back and "Let's do it again mommy and daddy!!" We will baby girl, we will. <br />
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Happy Fall!! </div>
<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-13676454279654239222012-09-24T23:23:00.002-04:002012-09-24T23:23:14.472-04:00Long lost documenting mommyOh my it's been awhile! Funny thing is though...I haven't forgotten my little ole blog, I've just been ignoring it and feeling guilty about that at the same time. I want so badly to sit down and write, photograph, write more and document our lives but find myself instead falling flat on my face at the end of the day and saying to myself I'll do it tomorrow...tomorrow comes and goes. I also got rid of my laptop at the beginning of summer by passing it on to Jacob and now my computer time is minimal which is nice on one hand but quiet difficult on the other. I am determined to never getting a laptop again and trying to keep it more simple. So that hasn't helped in my storytelling of our lives I must say. I'm sure that if I say right now I'm getting back on the wagon of documenting my kids growth spurts, I'll most likely fail. So I'll just do a quick little recap right now and see if maybe just maybe I can fool myself into getting back in the routine of writing again.<br />
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We've been busy but not overwhelmingly busy. Just busy enough to cherish the "moments" but too buys to document them except through Instagram via my phone and that means I haven't had my big camera in my hands for a long time and that's starting to change!! I did my first set of senior pictures a few weeks ago and that sparked the drive to get out of the lazy iPhone mode! Praying it lasts!! LOL!<br />
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The red naked egg science experiment we did for E week. Coolest thing EVER!</div>
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Learning about ourselves during O week!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilTmlGJ1w0MerHVihekUF-NPNeEtOeJSvqVySEuJil9eXh7hCOMWbWFukBvW5eCkJdZuTGyRHPnbOcj4RsvTXBj1EUL6ZEh-RX4iIobDX2hqZtzbk6enmyJB43CyUbuesvYq4Ung/s1600/IMG_2818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilTmlGJ1w0MerHVihekUF-NPNeEtOeJSvqVySEuJil9eXh7hCOMWbWFukBvW5eCkJdZuTGyRHPnbOcj4RsvTXBj1EUL6ZEh-RX4iIobDX2hqZtzbk6enmyJB43CyUbuesvYq4Ung/s400/IMG_2818.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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We spend many hours with our math manipulative making shapes, counting, sorting and having fun!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv1sGk-BIBo2vH22yfJdKecKuGJUIonelKrNRjWpZy94j48nZuoZzaAXvlPLcsd7HbmmfleZcA-FTBtWVZxyoOWNdvREy4ZLyIFsPSbAPPgULAVW9b7a8VRMBBkdHs5ms4HwEBSw/s1600/IMG_2800.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv1sGk-BIBo2vH22yfJdKecKuGJUIonelKrNRjWpZy94j48nZuoZzaAXvlPLcsd7HbmmfleZcA-FTBtWVZxyoOWNdvREy4ZLyIFsPSbAPPgULAVW9b7a8VRMBBkdHs5ms4HwEBSw/s400/IMG_2800.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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So lets see we've been busy doing school both publicly and at home. And are moving right along on college applications! Yes, I just said that. Don't fear because I am true to form and am a mess of emotions over this next step of my boys life. So we'll just leave it at that and move on. Jenny is thriving at our little homeschool school and begs to do it ALL DAY LONG. We have so much fun with science and art and the ABC's too that I might just do this again next year! Yes I said that too! Our Holly is currently fighting a fire somewhere in the vast forests here in California. She is in absolute heaven! We can not wait until after the fire season so we can get our arms around her and hear all about her adventures. We are more than proud of her! She inspires me to move towards achieving my dreams.</div>
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We spent Labor Day weekend getting refueled as a family at our church Family Camp...make time for the moments, big and little in our lives and making time for rest so that we can listen to the Lord, that's my new motto. Such a great reminder for each of us and one we aren't letting go so easily. It was a fabulous weekend and next year can not come fast enough! I'm secretly hoping there is Family Camp Winter Style...just saying. :)<br />
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Our days started with a yummy cup of coffee and a little hot coco with the forest all around us. </div>
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Oh how we love this place!!</div>
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We adventured through the forest after breakfast and spent time with friends and our family before Jacob had to go to work...he was working in the kitchen the whole weekend. </div>
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One afternoon we spent sometime finding newts...and while Jenny wouldn't hold one...</div>
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I did. </div>
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Gotta be a brave mommy right??</div>
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We warmed up that afternoon on "hamburger hill" which is known to be not only the hottest spot in camp but one which will give you hamburger knees and elbows if you fall down it's steep slope.</div>
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Jenny got her first face paining! Yes I cried. :)</div>
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Our cook!</div>
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Hours of fun was had all weekend long...rockets being flown up to space or the tops of the trees, long distance water balloon toss, swimming fun, movie night on the outside stage under the stars, campfires and morning devotional time in the circle of the redwoods with a fire burning in the middle. </div>
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We spent great moments together...with our wonderful church family and with our little extended family too. Each and every night we would fall into our bunks just like this. Looking forward to next year!!</div>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-22984327544595435632012-09-04T22:51:00.003-04:002012-09-04T22:51:49.752-04:00The many faces of herQuite a bit I find myself handing over my iPhone to Jenny to either A. quiet her down for a minute or two or B. keep her awake long enough to get us home or past that 3 or 4pm shutdown time. Now she is only allowed to look at pictures or take pictures, which she's gotten pretty good at! Needless to I am in hysterics when I look back at what she's captured. Lately she seems to be practicing different expressions and this is what she captured of herself over the period of three days...<div>
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Seriously? Yes, seriously I love this child! Oh my goodness do I love and adore her personality, her wit, her joy in everything, and her love of life! I love you my little bean! </div>
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Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-34853909734077310912012-08-28T19:56:00.000-04:002012-08-28T19:56:19.361-04:00Live-Laugh-Love with friends!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There is nothing better than spending a weekend with good friends! This last weekend <a href="http://livelaughlove-kim.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Auntie Kim</a> and her wonderful beau, Ron came to visit and enjoy a little beach time. We had wayyyyy too much fun! From long beach walks in the fog to late nights talking about everything. Someday it will be nice when they are near enough to come for dinner or to meet up for an afternoon of fun. These two beautiful souls are such treasures to our family! God has blessed us beyond measure and I'm so thankful!<br />
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Of course did I grab my camera on the way out the door anytime we went somewhere...no. So the weekend was captured with my phone. Oh well! The memories will remain vivid though and that's all that matters. :) We had a fabulous time playing in the sand....A day at the aquarium...A Boardwalk concert to see Eddie Money (don't need to see that again!), a late night sushi night and an afternoon exploring the future. Fun times!<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-20558213190959656302012-08-23T20:05:00.000-04:002012-08-26T20:06:10.895-04:00Adventures into the alphabetNot only did Jacob start school this week but so did our little miss and I. Well kinda started school...we're doing a little homeschooling for preschool this year and we're having fun and loving it. I tried last year to do a few things with my girl but life became too crazy and things fell to the wayside and worksheets turned into scribble papers instead. This year though, it's pretty obvious that our girl needs something to keep her mind going.<br />
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After many hours of sorting through curriculums, blogs, books, and asking tons of questions to friends and family who homeschool, I found <a href="http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/" target="_blank">Confessions of a Homeschooler.</a> It was as though I hit the jackpot! This mom is amazing and has it ALL figured out for you! We're using her <a href="http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/letter-of-the-week" target="_blank">Letter of the Week</a> curriculum and I've also thrown in a few other elements that I discovered along the way. Miss Jen is loving it! And so am I!!!</div>
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Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-27679746575207533902012-08-20T11:01:00.002-04:002012-08-20T11:01:17.694-04:00The beginning of 12th grade<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My dearest Jacob,<br />
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Today is the first day of your senior year of high school!! WOW!! It was just yesterday that I dressed you in shorts, a plaid button down shirt and a tiny pair of vans and sent you off to kindergarten....just yesterday. Then, you were SO excited, today you may feel a little overwhelmed, a little tired and a lot of joy to finally be at the end of high school...but your not quiet yet...the best is yet to come!<br />
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This year will be magical and filled with amazing memories! Don't hate it before it happens but instead embrace it as it begins...it will be over before you know it. If you reach a rough spot during the year, turn to God for help and know that we are here for you you too. If you reach a high spot, know that we are right along side celebrating with you!!<br />
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I've waited a long time for this year to happen for you and here it is...take it and run! It's all yours and we are SO proud of you! Enjoy each and every second and do everything you can because trust me it wont happen again. Here's to you and the class of 2013!!<br />
<br />
I love you my little buddy...more than all the fish in the sea!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Mom<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-22220154754621637262012-08-15T14:04:00.000-04:002012-08-15T23:56:45.864-04:00Celebrating togetherLast weekend we closed the summer up with a little celebration with all of the teens and their pastor. The kids and high school youth group have been so busy with mission trips, family vacations, camp and work and this was the first time they were all together at one time all summer long...they were so happy to be one again and it was a perfect way to end summer and go into this final year of high school with full joy and reconnection.<br />
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They year ahead for these kids is going to be filled with challenges, moments of pure excitement and joy and lasting memories that they will take with them forever. They are so excited for their senior year and we are so blessed that they allow us to be a part of their lives. What inspirations they are! The best part of watching them grow, is watching them help each other...they are all a huge part of each others lives...a perfect team! <br />
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At some point the kids got a hold of my camera and most of the pictures were taken by them... and this little film was captured...seriously love these guys. :)<br />
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So here we go guys and gals....here's to the best summer of your lives and the most awesome school year ahead of you!!! </div>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-86721394128878460082012-08-09T07:30:00.000-04:002012-08-10T12:23:53.730-04:00Summer pangsIt seems we are nearing the end of the summer around here. Honestly, I'm glad. It's been a very different summer from summers of the past. New territory was embarked upon. There was no weeks away camping in some remote location between here and somewhere. The lazy days of sleeping teenagers was remiss. It was full and fun and different. The days were filled instead with everything three and that is exactly what was needed! A season with exploration, play, imagination and total attention to our littlest sprout...it has been so fun.<br />
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It was also a bit of a lesson.<br />
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Yesterday our boy came home from camp or work I should say. He's sleeping right now in the room next to his sisters, who is over the moon that her bubba is home...finally. The feeling of contentment for me is complete, while he will most likely take much longer to feel settled I'm sure. He has come home to a new house, one in which the rest of us have already made our own. He has come home with a new outlook, a new head on his shoulders. He has to re-step his way into his new reality. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning last night talking and sharing. He's changed. He has a peace in him I've never seen. I see this in him and I feel a bit mad at myself for missing him so deeply...he needed this summer and I was feeling selfish in missing what summers used to be for all of us. <br />
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Life is moving forward. My summer has been a deep thought process that I can not stop the growth of my children and I must, MUST sit back and be at peace with it. It's hard but a part of every parents world. Our children are ours for such a short period of time then they are on the verge of going away to college and from there...on their own. My one blessing...we have a three year old running us in circles which means my world full of children isn't quite done yet...Thank you God! :) That gives me joy. <br />
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My lesson learned? The moments are fleeting that we are given to spend with our children. Children in your arms only a brief time and then they sprout wings when we look away for a minute and they begin to fly. I must not focus on making each season perfect with rituals that someday vanish or change...summers will forever be different, just as any other season that I've made "the same" year in and year out. But now I know that's okay!! I move forward from this summer with a new outlook...focus on making the moments we have all their own and take what comes at me with much joy. Life moves forward and it's fast...and beautiful!<br />
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I've been so removed from journaling our days and have just been enjoying them...it's been a good break and much needed. The house is once again filled with teenagers and the excitement for their upcoming senior year is so awesome to witness! So as we wrap up the end of our summer and head into a school year like no other, I'm going to enjoy these last days of The Summer of 2012 and spend those moments being mom, which is my biggest gift ever received. <br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Ps-127-3" id="en-NLT-16101" style="position: relative;">Children are a gift from the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>;</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-127-3" style="position: relative;">they are a reward from him.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Ps-127-4" id="en-NLT-16102" style="position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">4 </sup>Children born to a young man</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-127-4" style="position: relative;">are like arrows in a warrior’s hands.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Ps-127-5" id="en-NLT-16103" style="position: relative;"><sup class="versenum" style="display: block; font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; left: -4.8em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; vertical-align: top;">5 </sup>How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!</span></span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Ps-127-5" id="en-NLT-16103" style="position: relative;">~Psalms 127:3-5</span></span></i></span>Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-6901158656263382702012-07-23T13:48:00.001-04:002012-07-23T13:48:41.005-04:00Closeness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been over a month now since Jacob left for his job at camp and the first few weeks flew by! We got to see him a few times here and there and those quick visits have sustained us to get through another week. We have to opportunity to go visit him on Friday nights for a BBQ and it's a great few hours watching him work and be in a space which he loves wholeheartedly. He is surrounded by not only the forest but by an amazing circle of support and love. We've loved to have those few hours to be submerged in his life right now.<br />
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A few weeks ago we made a quick trip up the mountain to pick up a friend from camp and got to see our guy for about five minutes...it was literally a quick hug. Once we were in the car we noticed that there was something not quite right with the little miss. She was withdrawn and obviously sad. She would put her hands over her eyes and hold them there for minutes at a time. If one of us tried to talk to her she would put up her hand to block her view of us. We asked her if she was okay and she shook her head no. We asked her if she was sad and she shook her head yes. We asked her if she missed her bubba and she put her hands back over her eyes. Oh the stab in the heart. <br />
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I never quite grasped just how close these two children of mine are until that moment. With a substantial age difference you would think that there is not a lot in common there. But there is. There is something more between these two. They do have their sibling moments that surprise me and make me want to scream but there is an added closeness between them that is so subtle that I forget it's there. Her reaction that day has opened my eyes and taken me back to our family day in China...from the moment our daughter was being carried toward us our son was overtaken with love for this little girl he would forever call his little sister. And from the moment that she first laid eyes on him, she would never let him go. <br />
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So to get through these last few weeks of him being gone, we sat down one day to make a paper chain so that our littlest sprout could better understand when we can see her bubba and when he is coming home. She loved putting together the chains and counting the days and talking about her best friend. Each morning she eagerly tears one of those chains off and looks to see when a purple chain is coming because purple means, "we get to see bubba today!!" There is a light now for her...<br />
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After that quick visit several weeks ago we'd gone almost two weeks without seeing our Jacob. Last Friday night we got to see him and once Jenny got her hands on him, she wouldn't let him go. It was adorable! When he would hold her, she would touch his face or lay her head on his shoulder. She'd pat his arm or hold his hand or just follow him all around as he was trying to work...like a little puppy. There is a love there that can't be broken. There is a connection there that no one can comprehend but the two of them. They are two individuals who are connected not through blood but through love. <br />
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Forever.<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-56463042828982201872012-07-18T05:28:00.000-04:002012-07-18T05:28:00.037-04:00Learning Luke"For nothing is impossible with God!" Luke 1-37<br />
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Our littlest sprout started VBS this week...she LOVES it! I was a little bit worried since she's never been in a situation like this for more than a church service but she did great and looks forward to going each day. Yea!! <br />
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We captured this video on the first day...they have to fill out a little questionnaire and return it the next day for a sticker...she quite obviously is sticker driven!! :)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="599" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/45879969?color=ff0179" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="337"></iframe>Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-60977858212417312652012-07-16T23:19:00.001-04:002012-07-16T23:19:46.130-04:00A new found loveWow it's been a while since I've sat down and written down my thoughts! So much has been happening yet nothing at all. We are settling into our new home and enjoying it immensely! Loving it actually! I've also taken the time to take step back from the computer a bit this summer and enjoy some time with my girl and hubby. We just finished a fabulous 12 day stay-cation and did some good relaxing! Nothing like lazy days, parties with friends, family visitors, baking cookies for our campers and that's about it. Nice! But in the midst of our summer of change we've been completely enjoying the bounty of summer foods including the peach!<br />
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For the past two years I've been trying unsuccessfully to get my girl to eat a peach. She wont do it! Shakes her head every time and says no or I don't like peaches!! She's never even tried one!! I think it's so funny that a child can dislike something so profoundly without even trying it...how does that happen?? Always boggles my mind. <br />
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Well the other day I was enjoying this fabulous summer fruit and it was the yummiest peach ever and I was slurping up the juices and saying YUMMMM with every bite. Little miss was enthralled with my enthusiasm over her most disliked food and said, "I don't like peaches momma but you do!" "Yes I do", I replied. I asked her if she wanted to try a little bite and she thought for a few minutes then said hesitantly...."Okay". <br />
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The rest is history! HA!! The child wants peaches all the time now.Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-31730264362560768392012-07-03T01:45:00.000-04:002012-07-03T01:45:50.996-04:00The door closedThere is nothing that felt good about today. While I'm not normally one to wallow in my sorrow, today I did. The end is here for our home and I spent the morning cleaning it's floors and walls and cried with every spray of the cleanser. I didn't expect to be so overcome with emotions and was completely taken aback. But I just let it flow...<br />
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Of course the day was foggy and drizzly which did not help my mood at all. As I drove down the street I said a little prayer asking the Lord for strength and a positive attitude and thanked Him for what He'd given us and for His plan.</div>
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The gate into our home was really our front door and I always felt safe when it was locked and secure. There is nothing I loved more about this house than our front yard which was once an oasis of color and beauty...we took all of our flowers with us and now the place looks so sad...so alone except for the lonely playhouse with it's matching red door that was built so lovingly for a little girl by her daddy. I looked at it and turned away.</div>
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So many garden parties and memories flooded me and I saw the red ribbons hanging in our treasured maple tree and cried. All day I'd thought about taking them with me...cutting them out of the tree that my mom had so lovingly tied there three years ago to represent our three beautiful children and their red thread ties to us...I left them in the end because I didn't have the heart to cut them away.</div>
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Once inside I pushed back the tears and just got to work. I wanted this to be over before it even began and just wanted to go home to my little girl! I cranked up some music on my phone and let the worship songs comfort me. I came across bits of trash here and there...an old tab from a bottle liner...a fortune from the tea I love to drink which read, "happiness comes from contentment"...ironic I thought and laughed out loud for a few minutes. </div>
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Everything was so empty. The walls barren of my families faces. The floors cold with nothing touching them. The cupboards lost with nothing to fill them. It was so odd. Music was echoing through the rooms. There was no life...it had left a few weeks ago and was filling another home which is what I kept reminding myself. That gave me comfort and I longed to be there. </div>
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My mind was overflowing at this point with a flood of memories...ten years of dreams lost and bigger dreams come true. I traced over the years of my life and all that has changed within these four walls. So much profound change. I wondered if I'll ever forget. I kept waiting for someone to burst through the door and say, "hi mom!" or hear the squeal of the dogs as they hear their dad pulling in the driveway or the thumping under my feet of Jenny running through the house calling, "momma, momma where are you?" I lay on the floor and closed my eyes to pretend the rain was falling on the skylight...one of my favorite sounds there. </div>
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Walking past the measuring wall, I lost it. I realized right then and there I couldn't take it with me. I ran my fingers over the pencil marks and went to the first mark at the bottom...Jenny 10/28/11 35", the smallest measurement there and I worked my way up and found Jacob's first mark on 10/05 and looked at all the marks including the huge growth spurt that happened between 9/07 and 4/08 then on from there. I realize now that we'd painted over the marks from when we first moved here in 2002...when will I learn my lesson and do this on something I can always take with me! </div>
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The upstairs loomed above me and I was DONE and was seriously contemplating not even going upstairs. Just let it go. Who cares what it looks like! It's a bank owned property and it's all going to get torn out by someone else soon enough!! Just go on home and move forward I kept telling myself. But I didn't and I slowly climbed the stairs...remembering the day we brought Jenny home. Remembering hearing Jacob and his friends up stairs making so much noise I thought the roof would fall in. Remembering Christmas mornings and late night low blood sugars and having to run down the stairs in the dark.</div>
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I sat on the floor for a while and just cried my eyes out. I felt like a failure. I felt I didn't help my husband enough. He's worked so hard for us. And now here we are...starting over. This wasn't fair to him or our kids. But it is what it is. It has happened. I had to turn the keys over as soon as I was done here today and I was a mess. My phone beeped and I'd gotten my daily message from Rev Run's Words of Wisdom...</div>
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<i>"Good morning. Be grateful, wise & CONSTANTLY put things in perspective! </i></div>
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<i>Never want new things so bad that you overlook what you already HAVE!</i></div>
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<i>God is Love</i></div>
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<i>Rev Run"</i></div>
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Ohhhh the truth in those words punched me in the gut...today of all days! I HAVE SO MUCH!!!! As I picked myself up off the ground I wiped away my hot tears and reminded myself to move forward with the knowledge of all we have RIGHT NOW! Health. Happiness. Home. Family. Love. I finished cleaning this shell we once called our home and pushed away my sorrow. I reminded myself of who is in charge here...God. I tuned back into the music coming out of my phone...</div>
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<i>We are His portion and He is our prize </i></div>
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<i>Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes </i></div>
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<i>If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking </i></div>
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<i>So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss </i></div>
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<i>And my heart turns violently inside of my chest </i></div>
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<i>I don't have time to maintain these regrets </i></div>
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<i>When I think about the way...He loves us!</i></div>
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<i>~David Crowder Band - How He Loves Us</i></div>
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Of course <b><u>that</u></b> had to be the song playing! I don't have time to maintain these regrets!!! It's time to move on once and for all. It's time to reset and accept the things we can not change. We're going to be okay...no matter what. Quickly I found myself grabbing my supplies, turning off lights, checking closets again and making my way down those stairs one last time...and I walked right out with tears streaming down my face and closed that beautiful red door behind me. I will take the memories with me and I will never forget them and I am looking forward to the memories that haven't yet happened that God has planned for us. That makes me smile. </div>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-15913885531783601902012-06-30T23:32:00.001-04:002012-06-30T23:32:18.682-04:00A strange nightAfter a busy week, tonight was quiet. After dinner the request was made for a snuggle which quickly turned into a first for all of us...a very early bedtime. I've never dressed my daughter in her jammies while she was completely passed out. I held her and kissed back her hair and whispered I love you into her ear all before the sun even left the sky. This is something that has never happened for us. It feels almost unreal yet so normal and yet so real. A first I guess. I hope it happens again....soon!<br />
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I'm sitting here right now with music softly playing in the background, my husband within arms reach, the grandfather clock quietly keeping time beside me and the sounds of the day ending outside. I've watered all the plants in the garden. Picked a few weeds. Read two magazines. Enjoyed a sip or two of wine. It's not even eight o'clock yet. Then a squeak came from our daughter's room a few minutes ago and while we thought there were tears there was giggling. Three bursts of giggles from a child who passed out almost two hours before her bedtime. Then she fell back into slumber almost as quickly as those sweet giggles came out. A strange night.<br />
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I think I might call it a night before the summer sky fully sets and enjoy my book....in bed.Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-83857632846564986882012-06-20T22:51:00.000-04:002012-06-21T10:52:30.286-04:00LIttle HouseTonight a dream came true. A dream I've dreamt of for years and years. And tonight I lay down in my daughters bed to read her a book before she slumbered off but this time I choose the book and was as excited to open it as I was when I first got the book 32 years ago. A dream come full circle. As I snuggled down and told my sweet girl that this book we were about to read was mine when I was a little girl and it was my most favorite book in the world. I told her how I'd read all of these books a million times when I was little and was so excited to read them with her now. She replied..."I'm excited too mommy and now your special books are my special books." Oh I almost cried! Yes darling they will become your favorites too, I'm sure.<br />
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And then I opened her world to the "Little House on the Prairie" books and we read the first chapter of "Little House in the Big Woods" and she ate it up. I was slightly hesitant to go beyond simple readers with lots of pictures but she's been sitting through longer and longer books for a while now and I just knew it was time. With her snuggled next to me quietly listening, I went back in time with her and got lost in the simple life of Laura Ingalls Wilder. We finished the first chapter wanting to go on to the next but decided to stop at a chapter a night. I can't wait for tomorrow night!!!Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-76689419118946078092012-06-19T00:52:00.000-04:002012-06-19T00:52:08.487-04:00Holding the anchor<br />
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It feels as though a year has passed in just the last two weeks. I have been in complete shut down mode and sorting through my emotions and sitting for long moments to shed a tear or two. A lot of big things have happened in such a short period of time and it's no wonder I'm emotional.</div>
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Jake got his license.</div>
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Jake finished his junior year and is now a senior.</div>
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We moved.</div>
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Jake left for his summer job...we'll see him a few times over the next few months.</div>
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Our lives are in boxes or bags.</div>
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We have moved forward.</div>
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It's been a process of sorting through emotions. And resorting those emotions. </div>
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I am in heaven in our new house and have quickly worked on making it a home with the help of my mom and many others, THANK YOU!! The sun shines here every day and we love the smaller space we now have. I've wanted to have an outdoor living area for a very long time and now we do and we find ourselves sitting outside for meals more than in and we've also put an old futon on the deck to take afternoon naps on or to enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning. It's pretty darn blissful. We're settling in as best we can.</div>
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As for our other home, we are still in transition. And it's a process. It's a shell now and almost empty. We still have the garage to empty and I'm thankful that my husband wants to do this part. It is hard for me. I feel like a failure when I'm there. Yet I come home to our new place and feel refreshed and renewed. I don't want to go back to the old house where I feel at my worst, yet I know I need to go so I can help and stay focused on reality. Life is not perfect and we should never pretend it is. I don't ever want to forget this lesson and finishing what we started will help me to remember. </div>
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For now I struggle with feeling overwhelmed and buried in not only boxes behind closed closet doors but my emotions too. </div>
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A lot has changed in the last few weeks. </div>
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All good but a lot to absorb and but in it's rightful place. </div>
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<i>"We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek." - </i><i>Hebrews 6:18-20 (MSG)</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Geneva, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><i>"...without an anchor for the soul we can be left floating on a restless changing sea of uncertainty and insecurity. But for those who have faith in God, of this one thing we can be absolutely sure: God changes not! His love is from everlasting to everlasting and he is still in control of the world and universe no matter what." - <a href="http://www.gospel.com/blog/index.php/2010/08/02/todays-devotional-what-never-changes/" target="_blank">The Gospel.com</a></i></span></div>
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We planted a little garden this last weekend and I'm looking forward to watching the new sprouts shoot up. It's bound to feel new and exciting not only for me but through the eyes of our daughter, who by the way LOVES her new house. I have been reminded many times throughout each day how blessed we are and how God has had His hand in this move and experience. That humbles me. He led us here and He has plans for us...I'll hold on to that anchor and let the current guide me. </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Geneva, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div>Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-21297907927067823262012-06-08T01:09:00.000-04:002012-06-08T01:09:13.731-04:00Junior year done!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiahqo9uHM_lOdkIiI_c_eHwFsrvNiyRmmwurO42v_cb3gQMdDVvO6cdBlT_y7VKPOPZmihuA_xwRlLdCrKNY36qtQ2AFU4fIgrfIV4gMl6D1E1Uj4tz3weCHmj9GRMRzva7YRqLA/s1600/BigJUNIOR%2521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiahqo9uHM_lOdkIiI_c_eHwFsrvNiyRmmwurO42v_cb3gQMdDVvO6cdBlT_y7VKPOPZmihuA_xwRlLdCrKNY36qtQ2AFU4fIgrfIV4gMl6D1E1Uj4tz3weCHmj9GRMRzva7YRqLA/s400/BigJUNIOR%2521.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First day of Junior year!<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />Holy cow! It's done!!! Jacob has finished his third year of high school and is now a senior!!!! What a year it has been! We knew the year was going to be a huge challenge for all of us but we went into it with a positive outlook and let the flow go where it needed to go but with serious reminders to keep our eyes on our schedules! Here's a peek at what the year has been like for Jake...and the rest of us. :)</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ9Ht1RgEb_2_IyngjJHVRr3EF7e3y2uYbljForAmqeBaj0Vkup8TRWATEO09WLjg8ZkgEmFK9UwDX1cVsgXgiGn5hpULl1C0-NZ8JEUNBMrOcXNkKGXR1XYRJWZ8VPY60I-RXbg/s1600/IMG_1501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ9Ht1RgEb_2_IyngjJHVRr3EF7e3y2uYbljForAmqeBaj0Vkup8TRWATEO09WLjg8ZkgEmFK9UwDX1cVsgXgiGn5hpULl1C0-NZ8JEUNBMrOcXNkKGXR1XYRJWZ8VPY60I-RXbg/s320/IMG_1501.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wake up time!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGmTWJUNmcLFz9st9Cnk_P64SOPHYfQuYMP3p4O_ZXacTrq54lNJNuaW6w8O6TUBkwL4Axwj1eLD2B-IsrqYQjAYpbL-b5PnwfLHXLwMXPyCnps4qUYOkIkXisJgs_CX21gxXAg/s1600/IMG_1502.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFGmTWJUNmcLFz9st9Cnk_P64SOPHYfQuYMP3p4O_ZXacTrq54lNJNuaW6w8O6TUBkwL4Axwj1eLD2B-IsrqYQjAYpbL-b5PnwfLHXLwMXPyCnps4qUYOkIkXisJgs_CX21gxXAg/s320/IMG_1502.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting my bible study in between 6:30 and when baby J gets up. :)</td></tr>
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Mondays -<br />
school 6:30am - 1:45pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
tutoring 2 - 3pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
bible study 7-9pm<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9LD0Pg5ReTTFcKcrod23uBCGyfxoPWbDMlZRmO4poNfyTBUmNWeXUReZfqdS-IyHfBMnrHOXiM5hT_tnRG1hJ96HT7eV_VC9GeO6amNFgvW6y1V6cNNq4AM5rdWUa2sWxVuv0zw/s1600/IMG_1570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9LD0Pg5ReTTFcKcrod23uBCGyfxoPWbDMlZRmO4poNfyTBUmNWeXUReZfqdS-IyHfBMnrHOXiM5hT_tnRG1hJ96HT7eV_VC9GeO6amNFgvW6y1V6cNNq4AM5rdWUa2sWxVuv0zw/s320/IMG_1570.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In line...again.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghV-3SvZ4Ea5xGXscOENu0mAme_QZmvNwjcbnEsrKcr_CtoyDmGU1mahq5mHcXlsGk9WWXepckcvgq9_mI-wV9UKxN8PhjPiEmGcyvxhoOAJrI1tUf6_dHxpvT7WV62j6Ai4Wmyg/s1600/IMG_1505.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghV-3SvZ4Ea5xGXscOENu0mAme_QZmvNwjcbnEsrKcr_CtoyDmGU1mahq5mHcXlsGk9WWXepckcvgq9_mI-wV9UKxN8PhjPiEmGcyvxhoOAJrI1tUf6_dHxpvT7WV62j6Ai4Wmyg/s320/IMG_1505.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get a walk in while we wait for tutoring to end.</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Tuesdays -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
school 6:30am - 1:45pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
sign language 4 - 6pm<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMAQGRefn_fM3YcAz1eU5cgpPZ_SHiAyfIVVHQ8JHo_Rz8JLv4Gad6CQNk2Ip9GWI5QGqVdNzVJHLv03v1AmGelHRZXqZvlD9W-hSDtmgcoaY9zd6gQmZgC7JuxMt5TbKaANeAA/s1600/IMG_1503.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMAQGRefn_fM3YcAz1eU5cgpPZ_SHiAyfIVVHQ8JHo_Rz8JLv4Gad6CQNk2Ip9GWI5QGqVdNzVJHLv03v1AmGelHRZXqZvlD9W-hSDtmgcoaY9zd6gQmZgC7JuxMt5TbKaANeAA/s320/IMG_1503.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Waiting again.</td></tr>
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</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Wednesdays</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
school 6:30am - 12pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
tutoring 2 - 3pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
youth leadership 6 - 7pm</div>
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youth group 7 - 9:30pm</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDiXwgWvnKE3SPfQzD_zzZzkvOLvvKQq1xfTxymvyNOpIiZ6MGWv605__yACy2AtRMq9MH1JH9t6ZOuE4rssSURKn5eTbZPyr82LZ-3HGhqrV4axTKxM05SZeIex2iYhlrhh4nzQ/s1600/IMG_1520.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDiXwgWvnKE3SPfQzD_zzZzkvOLvvKQq1xfTxymvyNOpIiZ6MGWv605__yACy2AtRMq9MH1JH9t6ZOuE4rssSURKn5eTbZPyr82LZ-3HGhqrV4axTKxM05SZeIex2iYhlrhh4nzQ/s320/IMG_1520.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back behind the bus again!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWwQndBoHQ1MQosgcA6fBYwma614IfKk8EEdwGhkFOHlWu0mIBkzFwKxnKmZMiMjS9nbH-2Vx2c_L4OYLyTcqhUpgyodFOI0e8mUU9v8MPb9v3Izfwu7b-Rq2YlTwsVqXn6SOvw/s1600/IMG_1521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWwQndBoHQ1MQosgcA6fBYwma614IfKk8EEdwGhkFOHlWu0mIBkzFwKxnKmZMiMjS9nbH-2Vx2c_L4OYLyTcqhUpgyodFOI0e8mUU9v8MPb9v3Izfwu7b-Rq2YlTwsVqXn6SOvw/s320/IMG_1521.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh high school.</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Thursdays -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
school 6:30am - 3pm</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
sign language 4 - 6pm</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cNBda78oihHosQCstNK-s_3wrpks3VLj5mB1PLx9mUe601P4r6z5M1EMfqcBqI5CoZtNEXHJeR-1qKPTUdV_ZGJxi_RcORiNByO6NpBBup5fKdryJpmFCweCKHougOhtdKveEA/s1600/IMG_1522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_cNBda78oihHosQCstNK-s_3wrpks3VLj5mB1PLx9mUe601P4r6z5M1EMfqcBqI5CoZtNEXHJeR-1qKPTUdV_ZGJxi_RcORiNByO6NpBBup5fKdryJpmFCweCKHougOhtdKveEA/s320/IMG_1522.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another afternoon in traffic.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBEcJxHInR7nNI7Vp6t4BaJ7uGDIDLore0JDGxUMVd85mHNFrwf_eIEciyuXetQLwkF26bGcM2-ut4ZdWOsRAEJkanxUuEYaXaLlDRMR8_KIpg1zHiWDlC3XX4vt3HZvXTtxRnew/s1600/IMG_1566.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBEcJxHInR7nNI7Vp6t4BaJ7uGDIDLore0JDGxUMVd85mHNFrwf_eIEciyuXetQLwkF26bGcM2-ut4ZdWOsRAEJkanxUuEYaXaLlDRMR8_KIpg1zHiWDlC3XX4vt3HZvXTtxRnew/s320/IMG_1566.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A year of car naps...DONE!</td></tr>
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Fridays -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
school 6:30am - 12:45pm<br />
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Saturdays -<br />
Whatever the day brings! :)<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
Sundays -</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
church 9am - 1pm</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFM5EzF6Trq_pfqC9SSERI_ljh9UA9Z3tZJeWitaNYZntacJbUhJQy3vBl8eG4IYUIFxSRPEFZRyr1wmdVNk_71jOtAK1I1iZXpcec3ADnbcyrAUfy1rfxpIhWN2_M5r6Q-NjMGA/s1600/IMG_1500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFM5EzF6Trq_pfqC9SSERI_ljh9UA9Z3tZJeWitaNYZntacJbUhJQy3vBl8eG4IYUIFxSRPEFZRyr1wmdVNk_71jOtAK1I1iZXpcec3ADnbcyrAUfy1rfxpIhWN2_M5r6Q-NjMGA/s320/IMG_1500.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An early night!! Might just get a five hours of sleep <br />
then get up and do it all again!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibc0n_n4wrM5KZHtI7oQOewo_rMWKWRLp5ofeb8Y4598nrliO6wlsvzAAuCS4G4D7t7STd3mC7adOZrPr1-I3mCUyKULabzRjIfpmHptvJXgvrB5nj_y0UxGYHe24JFULYO-Gbsg/s1600/IMG_1594.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibc0n_n4wrM5KZHtI7oQOewo_rMWKWRLp5ofeb8Y4598nrliO6wlsvzAAuCS4G4D7t7STd3mC7adOZrPr1-I3mCUyKULabzRjIfpmHptvJXgvrB5nj_y0UxGYHe24JFULYO-Gbsg/s320/IMG_1594.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Time to get up!!</td></tr>
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And then add in the volunteer weekends at camp, volunteer opportunities in the community and countless hours of teenage fun filled weekends! Phew! Did I mention that he has been working on getting his license during this year too?? We've spent countless hours in the car and spending time together. I have seriously loved every single minute of the busy year and being a huge part of his life. I'm not sure what any of us is going to do next year when he's becoming more responsible and depending less and less on us. Oh sigh...they do grow up.<br />
<br />
Next year his senior schedule is looking pretty sweet and he'll have lots of free time and hopefully a job and more time to do some volunteer stuff and concentrate on getting into college! WOW! I can't even begin to go there yet! What an adventure the year ahead will bring and I can't wait to document it all and be sitting in the front row to watch the show. <br />
<br />
Congratulations Jacob on a great junior year! Don't forget all the fun you had....<br />
<br />
...homecoming rally...hours at Verve...Skyhigh late nights...snow camp...family camp...Belong...crashing Harbors prom...dub step parties...koooook feast...deaf sushi night...convertible car rides in the beemer...spring break...getting your license...crashing the college rave...New Years Eve...fancy family dinners...camping along Hwy 1...Thanksgiving in OR...Betty's Burgers...Big Sur adventures...Mock Rock....the list goes on and on!<br />
<br />
We love you buddy and will be here always to guide you and watch you grow.<br />
<br />
I love you more than all the fish in the seas!<br />
Love,<br />
Mom<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last day of Junior year!! </td></tr>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-1867592630278188622012-06-05T21:30:00.000-04:002012-06-06T00:51:56.823-04:00The inevitable finally happened.Oh Jacob...you got your license today! I knew it would finally come and today, June 5, 2012 at 1:38pm it did. When I woke up this morning I must tell you that I did cry a little bit and I did again a few times throughout the day...I knew you'd pass and I know what's next...complete independence. My time to take you to school and pick you up ended today. It's been a sweet ride and one I'd never go back to change. So yes today was bittersweet.<br />
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Funny thing though, as soon as I saw you give me the thumbs up from across the parking lot at the DMV, I felt a big tug on my heart and I just let go. I have to trust that all will be okay and let you fly on you're own because you can't have me driving you around forever!! :) Yes, I will worry for a bit and yes you will need to let me know when you get to your destination for the next few weeks or months but I promise it will help me to accept letting go. Give me time just like you gave yourself time to get your license. I'll always be your worrywart mom but I promise I'll chill out....soon.<br />
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So go forward my son. Grab hold of that excitement that comes with the words, "congratulations, you passed your driving test!" and enjoy the ride. Life is about to take on a new hue for you yet again, but this time it's at a whole new level. The time that you took to get your license, you've matured enough to understand the reality of it and that will make this a great adventure and that will be such an amazing thing to watch unfold! That maturity obviously showed when the DMV employee told you that you were an excellent driver and you only missed one thing...too wide of a turn. You've got this! I'm so happy for you. <br />
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Now go forth, be smart and don't be reckless!!!! Congratulations my driver!!!<br />
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I love you more than all the wide left turns in the world!<br />
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MomKaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-57681649990167116432012-06-04T10:26:00.000-04:002012-06-04T10:26:52.987-04:00The things I'll miss the mostAs I sit here watching my daughter eat the last of her breakfast and I listen to the worship music pouring out of the stereo speakers, I'm flooded with all the things I will truly miss about our home...<br />
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Our mailman. Oh I will miss him so! He walked our adoption journey with us and cried the first time he saw our baby girl. He gets out of his truck to bring me the mail that he knows will make me cry and gives me a hug after he does so. He stops to talk if we run into each other outside of our neighborhood. He is a gem. <br />
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The warm spring days that are the only summer we get here.<br />
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Watching our maples turn from green and bushy to a thinning orange tree then only to watch it happen all over again next year.<br />
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My beautiful hardwood floors my wonderful husband put in for us.<br />
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My kitchen. Oh this kitchen!<br />
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My neighbors. <br />
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The playroom.<br />
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My pink laundry room. <br />
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My mailman. <br />
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The birds in the trees who wake me up each morning.<br />
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My bedroom which I call my treehouse. The windows Mike put in a few years ago make it look like we sleep in the top boughs of the trees outside and the walls are painted this soothing blue that just melts my stress.<br />
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My stove.<br />
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The front yard that our neighbors call "The Sanctuary" and that it is from Spring until Fall.<br />
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The corner store down the street.<br />
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The sound of the ocean the night before a big storm comes in.<br />
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<i>You are good, You are good</i></div>
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<i>When there's nothing good in me</i></div>
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<i>You are love, You are love </i></div>
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<i>On display for all to see</i></div>
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<i>You are light, You are light </i></div>
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<i>When the darkness closes in</i></div>
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<i>You are hope, You are hope</i></div>
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<i>You have covered all my sin</i></div>
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<i>You are peace, You are peace</i></div>
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<i>When my fear is crippling</i></div>
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<i>You are true, You are true</i></div>
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<i>Even in my wandering</i></div>
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<i>You are joy, You are joy </i></div>
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<i>You're the reason that I sing</i></div>
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<i>You are life, You are life, </i></div>
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<i>In You death has lost its sting</i></div>
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<i>Oh, I’m running to Your arms, </i></div>
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<i>I’m running to Your arms</i></div>
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<i>The riches of Your love</i></div>
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<i>Will always be enough</i></div>
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<i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div>
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<i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div>
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<i>You are more, You are more</i></div>
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<i>Than my words will ever say</i></div>
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<i>You are Lord, You are Lord</i></div>
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<i>All creation will proclaim</i></div>
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<i>You are here, You are here</i></div>
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<i>In Your presence I'm made whole</i></div>
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<i>You are God, You are God</i></div>
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<i>Of all else I'm letting go</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Oh, I’m running to Your arms</i></div>
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<i>I’m running to Your arms</i></div>
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<i>The riches of Your love</i></div>
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<i>Will always be enough</i></div>
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<i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div>
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<i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div>
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<i>My heart will sing </i></div>
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<i>no other Name</i></div>
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<i>Jesus, Jesus</i></div>
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<i>Oh, I’m running to Your arms</i></div>
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<i>I’m running to Your arms</i></div>
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<i>The riches of Your love</i></div>
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<i>Will always be enough</i></div>
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<i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div>
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<i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div>
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<i>~ Forever Reign by Hillsong United</i></div>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-53789705989883514472012-06-01T10:13:00.003-04:002012-06-01T10:13:51.363-04:00A sharpie, some tape, a plan and a gift!Well here we are counting down the days until the deadline to move and I'm a walking list. I've got my arsenal at my side and am quickly becoming a pro at tagging up boxes with my handy dandy sharpie! All the while things are being packed up and the useless and dusty things are being donated to those who could use it more than we've touched it in the last 10 years. I think our moving pile might actually be smaller than our give away pile! This is kinda freeing!<br />
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I find my days now are more prayer based than ever before. Actually I think I'm just having this ongoing conversation with God right now. I don't always hear Him in return but I'm in constant chat with Him right now. I go to a cupboard to see what awaits me to sort through and I question my desire to keep anything that I see. Most of the time I toss it into the Goodwill pile and move forward. The load on my shoulders just keeps getting lighter and lighter.<br />
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We signed the lease last night on a sweet place and my lists have now multiplied and my mind is beginning to see the end of this part of our lives. Not only the end of our life in this home but the end of this emotional roller coaster we've been on for what feels like a lifetime. The next chapter is unknown but it will be good I know. It will be good because we have learned lessons that we didn't know we needed to learn. It will be good because my attitude before is not the attitude I have today. It will be good because we made it through this valley of our lives as a family that is more connected than before. <br />
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It will be good.<br />
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<i>When God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil - this is a gift from God. - Ecclesiastes 5:19</i><br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-70698154349011378132012-05-25T13:53:00.000-04:002012-05-25T13:53:11.637-04:00All three and them some!Our sweet girl had her three year well baby check up on Monday! I'm still in awe that she's three already! And as for her being a baby...ummmm no not her! She is all big girl if you ask her and oh yes that's a pretty true statement! Oh my where oh where has my baby girl gone!<br />
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At three years old our sprout is 36 inches tall and is 29.2 pounds! 25th percentile!! :) Amazing to think that just a little over two years ago she barely weighed 11 pounds! Helping her grow is her fabulous appatite! She loves her veggies and just the other night showed us how to eat fava beans! She loves shrimp like it's chocolate and starts every day with an egg and some toast. She's pretty fond of salads too and tells me she loves prunes too! Makes me laugh every time! <br />
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Her love of reading hasn't stopped in the least! The other day I pulled a bunch of reader books out of a box that I've been saving for her and she quickly took them into her room and sat and enjoyed them for at least an hour! I think we're getting ready to sit down every night and read a little bit of "Little House" soon...a dream of mine! Besides her love of books, she also has a love of playing school, singing, taking pictures and playing Candyland...over and over and over! LOL! <br />
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One of the things that's really started to change with my girl is her desire to pick out her clothes and get herself dressed. It seriously has become something she just beams at doing when I tell her to go get dressed. She just cracks me up! She does pretty well at getting everything on correctly and picks a hair bow every time then will proudly come in to show me. Too cute! When we started potty training I told her about getting her panties on right by telling her the tags go on the floor or on her back and she is serious about that! She'll sit down on the ground to get dressed and I can hear her in her room saying, "tags on the ground" or "uh oh! My tag is not on my back, gotta fix that!" More cuteness! She's a little fashionista that's for sure!!!<br />
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In other milestones, she is using 10-14 word sentences and is working hard on making sure her pronunciation is right...she gets so frustrated if you don't understand her. She is doing really well on letter recognition and knows the A, B, C, O, J, V and the Z. We're working on counting to 10 but she'll stop at 8 and go straight to 18. Her art skills are starting to come out and when drawing she just started making actual pictures...I was a receipient of one of her first masterpieces that she gave me for Mother's Day....OH WHAT A TREASURE! :) We've all got our hairbows on! LOL!! Now each time she sits down to color her pictures always have little round people wearing hairbows and they are just getting cuter and cuter!<br />
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And most of all this little sweet thing is just coming more and more into her own! She is FULL of additude and has no problem telling anyone how it is. She is as smart as can be and uses that to her advantage and we love it! She's so adventuresome and loving too. She will tell anyone hi and who her mommy and daddy are. She's enamored by her big brother still and follows he and his friends around like a lost puppy and off of the big kids love it and love her so much. She's a treasure to so many! And I am always reminded that God is GOOD when I look into her soulful eyes!<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-66879129570986124212012-05-21T11:47:00.001-04:002012-05-21T11:47:38.726-04:00Lots going on in my headThe last few weeks have kind of been a blur. There are just a few weeks left of school and then I can sit down and finally breathe! It's been a year and I knew when school started it was going to be a very exhausting one. It has been. Exhausting. This time of year is always stressful and add everything else we have going on and I just tend to shut down. Between being sick, dealing with a little bit of pink eye, sorting and packing, and the end of school I'm kinda cooked. As of right now I'm practically crawling to the finish line on June 6th when Jake is done with his junior year and moving on to being a senior!! Those last few words just amaze me! A senior? Really? Yes, really! Oh goodness! <br />
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Our move is coming along quiet nicely...hope it all stays this smooth! I'm enjoying packing and doing it with a grateful heart and just having fun. I've been finding little things that I'd thought I'd lost or forgotten we even still had! I'm purging and getting rid of stuff that we just don't need to keep carrying around. My pile of empty boxes is decreasing and the move pile is slowly getting taller and wider. We should be getting the keys to our new place in the next week or so and we'll go in and start making the house our home. We are all really excited!! <br />
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We are ready to move...move forward....start fresh and begin again.<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-56005834120524092602012-05-11T12:09:00.001-04:002012-05-11T12:09:33.816-04:00The funny thing about packingSo here we are now packing up. I've been slowly packing things and sorting through 10+ years of our lives for the last year so I'm hoping this will be a relatively easy task. But still it's daunting! I asked my neighbors if I could have all of their old newspapers to pack up our house and I get a beautiful basket filled with papers once a week...yea, I'm going to miss them. Well the problem about packing your house up with the local paper is that you sit there reading old news instead of packing and eventually find yourself sitting on the floor reading for an hour. Not so good when you're on a time crunch. <br />
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The paper is overflowing with garbage and I now know why we stopped the subscription...the headlines are horrible and I just sit there and get sucked in...even if it's old news! There's the politics which actually is a good thing to be reading right now and I'm quickly catching up on all that BS. Then the local news which is always good for some interesting chat at the grocery store later on. But wow...the newspaper is full of ugly print! The other day I spent at least an hour crying myself through the obituaries. I was stunned at the amount of loss in our area due to cancer. Seriously at least 3 out of the 6 obits were young people who'd passed away from that horrible disease. Ugg! Oh and if I get to the real estate section I just cringe! I look around at my belongings that I'm packing and my beautiful house and want to cry some more. To get myself away from the overwhelming sadness of the print I find myself looking at the sports section!!!!!! Well if you know me well enough you're laughing by now. I can not stand sports...well except baseball. But only Giants baseball. But that section of the paper gives me a little hope. I see names of living people I know and most of them are kids Jake goes to school with or did or a friends kids and see them doing great things in local sports or at the college they attend. As for the ads...I can not stand those! Those aren't good for packing anyway and they just take all my money out the door so I just crumple those things up and throw them in as filler in all the boxes. <br />
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But the best part of using the newspaper is when you see the comic section down there in the pile and you just know you're going to be laughing in just a few moments. The stress of what you've just spent the last hour of your time wasting and the stress of your move is suddenly gone. Laughter is the best medicine!!!<br />
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-84070921845896957112012-05-05T23:15:00.000-04:002012-05-05T23:15:12.350-04:00Let the packing begin!!Praise God, we got a place!!!!! A week of stress induced stress upon stress and trying so hard to just let go and let God...He showed us to the perfect home for us! We are so supper excited and CAN NOT wait to get on with our lives! We <b><u>love</u></b> the neighborhood and had tried our hardest to buy there 10 years ago but couldn't keep up with the multiple offers going on during the buyers market then. But here we are now and we are overjoyed! Our neighbors are already good friends we've known for years and the sun shines here almost everyday! Let the packing begin! Let the light shine in! And let's move on!<br />
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<i>“The bricks have fallen down,</i></div>
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<i> but we will rebuild with dressed stone; </i></div>
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<i>the fig trees have been felled,</i></div>
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<i> but we will replace them with cedars. ”</i></div>
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<i>Isaiah 9:10</i></div>Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38184985.post-58982002015167803782012-05-03T04:30:00.000-04:002012-05-03T04:30:02.308-04:00The searchWow...I am so thankful and humbled at the amazing support that we've received in the last few days after sharing what we are and have been going through...THANK YOU! I didn't know what to expect when I decided to share...will we be shamed or lifted in prayer and yes I'm sure there are a few who are appalled that I'm publicly sharing this journey but the amount of prayers being said for us has washed away my fears of the naysayers. I feel so strongly lead to share this and I have no shame in doing so, especially if it will help one person look at what they are going through with a new vision. So thank you all for the many prayers, positive thoughts and well wishes. It truly means more to us than anything else. Thank you. <br />
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As soon as we started this journey we began looking at what our options were for housing in our area. Instantly we became sick. We don't live in the cheapest part of the world, in fact we live in one of the most expensive in the nation and yea it pretty much sucks. Rents are equal to a mortgage here. Housing is either really small or beyond cleaning your home yourself or you walk away wondering how it's called a home. Neighborhoods can be full of some unsavory characters or filled with more money than I will ever see in my lifetime. And landlords can ask for any amount and honestly...they'll fill the house someway, somehow. And there are people in line waiting with application in hand ready to rent and a landlord can hand pick who they want regardless of anything. After our initial shock we thought we could do what we could to save our home because seriously this was going to be hard. <br />
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Fast forward a season or two and here we are now seriously pounding the pavement trying to find a place to restart our lives. Last Saturday we drove around to a couple houses and instantly my fear, worry, stress, anger and resentment came at me full force. The headache I got the moment we got that 90 day letter just got more intense and oh I just wanted to crawl in bed and cry my eyes out until I'd flooded the earth. The darkness that sometimes covers me began to sink in with it's cold blanket and cloud my mind. What are we going to do?? Where are we going to live?? WHY is this happening!!!!!?????? WHY, WHY, WHY!!????!! Instead of letting me go deeper into that thought process, my oh so patient husband said, "lets go to church tonight" and I hesitantly agreed.<br />
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Needless to say I am so thankful we did. Even though the message wasn't necessarily one to uplift my mood, it did make me stop. Our church is doing a series of frequently asked questions and last week was about the bible and it's authenticity...there's some pretty solid facts out there that it's as real as your heart beating in your chest by the way but that's not what this post is about but you can see the message <a href="http://www.tlc.org/sermons/1230/" target="_blank">here</a>. Back to my headache relieving moment....As I was listening to all this truth about Jesus and absorbing this heavy topic, I realized that I was back to being my controlling self and was trying so hard to make something happen for my family that was seriously out of my control. I was starting to make myself sick trying to take care of this horrid situation we are in all by my little ole self. I am not in charge here. And when I try my hardest to run the world, I fail, I reminded myself. When I hesitantly give it to the Lord, I am freed, I boldly told myself.<br />
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I cry a lot at church and this day was no exception except this time I didn't wipe away the tears. I just let each and every one roll down my cheeks. They dropped to the floor and I had no shame in them. I listened to the end of the message and the beginning of the worship song starting and sat there and said to the Lord, "IT'S ALL YOUR'S! I don't want this stress on me. I want this to be a learning experience for me, for my children and for others, not a stress filled change that may break us!!! Lord, I give you it all and humbly put it at your feet. Guide us and I will follow. No matter what or where you lead us, I will do it as best as I can with your help. I will make this easy for my husband and my children as best as I can...with your grace! Our home is where YOU are with us!"<br />
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I walked out of there feeling renewed. <br />
My five day headache gone. <br />
A new thought filling my mind...we are going to be okay wherever we settle and make our home. We're going to be okay...I'm sure of it. <br />
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The next day we woke to a new dawn and the sun shinning down on us. Of course we checked to see if any new listings were posted, I made a few calls, I checked my email, voicemail, text messages a million times to see if anyone got back to us. Then we just got in the car and drove away from our reality and went into the redwoods to focus on what we DO have and Who is guiding us. <br />
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We basked in the sunshine with the big trees rising to the sky all around us. We ate a meal together and talked about different things. We flew a kite for the first time. We blew our cares into the wind. We prayed together. We read Psalms out loud and <i>Psalm 34 </i>being read twice, three times and a few times already this week....and it's starting to sink in.<br />
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<i>4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me;</i></div>
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<i> he delivered me from all my fears.</i></div>
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<i>8 - Taste and see that the Lord is good; </i></div>
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<i> blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.</i></div>
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<i>17 - The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;</i></div>
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<i> he delivers them from all their troubles.</i></div>
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<i>18 - The Lord is close to the brokenhearted </i></div>
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<i> and saves those who are crushed in spirit.</i></div>
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<i>19 - The righteous person may have many troubles, </i></div>
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<i> but the Lord delivers him from them all </i></div>
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It's a new week. </div>
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It's a renewed outlook. </div>
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It's going to be okay...Regardless.</div>
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I'm not in control. </div>
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He is.<br />
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We will keep getting up each day with a grateful heart. We will look at every option. We will continue to put in applications. We will keep looking for what ever is put in front of us. We will look past the things we have a hard time with and try to make them okay. We will not fear. We will be okay. That is all I can tell myself. Over and over and over. He is in control. </div>
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<br />Kaycehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01473905322257543749noreply@blogger.com8